Archive for April, 2007

MyCrapPoetry Volume 2


It seems the Myspacers are looking for their poetical twin on my site again. As always, I am here to help out those who ask. So I did my thirty minutes on Technorati and did you know that Myspace hosts some very eclectic porn sites? Bit of a surprise that. However, we are here to find the worst poetry we can so that the Myspacers who come here can find it faster. Today’s entry comes from ElectricDreams. Prepare for lingual ipecac my friends

Waiting ’til the moments right,
to understand and stop the fight.
The pain of holding on’s to strong,
I know that I’ve held on too long.

Knowing things about his past,
circumstances never last.
Using all the hope inside,
and letting go with the oceans tide.

He lit the fire that made me see,
How unstable the mind can be.
The moment left me with hurt and pain,
that stories over, I’m not the same.

And now the second chance has come,
to finish off what’s left undone.
I loved him once, he broke my heart,
I finished something I couldn’t start.

And now I’m here today with you,
to tell the story… “What not to do!”
I’ve made my choice, I’m moving on,
for whatever it takes, no matter how long.

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Complete with image of broken heart. I also like the way in which our writer used an apostrophe in the word ons. Dearie, in such a circumstance poetic license fails and one should just use “on is” even if it messes up the strange rhythm you have going on.

Of course, I like to compare and contrast so here is the other side. A little lost love from e.e. cummings

it may not always be so;and i say
that if your lips,which i have loved,should touch
another's,and your dear strong fingers clutch
his heart,as mine in time not far away;
if on another's face your sweet hair lay
in such a silence as i know,or such
great writhing words as,uttering overmuch,
stand helplessly before the spirit at bay;

if this should be,i say if this should be-
you of my heart,send me a little word;
that i may go unto him,and take his hands,
saying,Accept all happiness from me.
Then shall i turn my face,and hear one bird
sing terribly afar in the lost lands.



Getting Screwed in Washington DC


It seems the constituents aren’t the only ones taking it from politicians these days. Enter the Beltway Madame who has been servicing Washington DC for the last two years.

This is no Heidi Fleiss to whine and take it, oh no. Deborah Jean Palfrey is taking it out of the mansion and on to the streets. She gave her phone lists to ABC as part of an interview which is to air May 4. Only after a judge prevented her from selling the list to pay for her defense.

And the first man to fall? Randall Tobias, acting administrator for US AID. Details are sketchy but, what the press can’t say, the mind can make up. Talk about your Humanitarian work, oh Randy, you naughty boy!

On the other hand, who cares? If one is willing to enter the bleak and emotionally unsatisfying world of escort services that’s no one else’s business. There is a special sort of pity reserved for those who feel the need to mindlessly use another human being for sexual gratification and then pay for the privilege. Sad, really.

Prostitution should be legal. Looked at logically, it’s a service. Apparently a popular service in Washington as Palfrey boasts having 45 pounds of phone records. Now that’s what I call supply and demand. Or trickle down economics. Okay enough, I mean the possibilities for humor here are just too large for one 60 minute rant. The point is there are far too many other things going on that need our attention to spend time banging on about some guy getting his pole waxed. What consenting adults with flavored gels do to each other in the privacy of their rented hotel room is not news.

Of course these days the News is not news either.


Journalist Grammar School


I’m not sure which is worse: A President who can’t speak his native language or a journalist who can’t translate his pidgin English correctly, as in the example below.

“I know Congress, no matter what their position is on the war, doesn’t want to affect readiness, and they don’t want to affect the military families,” Mr. Bush said today.

I’m sorry writer-man, but shouldn’t that be effect ? Have you not read Eats Shoots and Leaves like the rest of America? Can I have your job because, apparently, attention to detail isn’t a requirement.

Affect readiness? Are you kidding me? Bush hasn’t had affect readiness since he started this job.


For Shame


Shame: A feeling of distress or humiliation caused by consciousness of the guilt or folly of oneself.

I thought we might revisit this particular human trait for a while. As I look around the state of our world I see a decided lack of the above mentioned feeling. People seem to have simply forgotten how to be ashamed of themselves. They seem to forgotten it’s very useful function. See, shame is a component of humility. Without the natural understanding that you are literally, regardless of your income or social status, no better than the person standing next to you, shame is no longer needed.

Nowhere has this been seen with more clarity than in Washington lately. Let’s start with Wolfowitz. In an act of defiance, he has decided to fight for his job. This architect of the Iraq war who saw no conflict in going from a post in the Bush Administration to overseeing an essentially humanitarian organization wants to keep a job no one wants him to have. Not being able to see the irony of that is a good indicator that Wolfowitz does not understand the simple idea of shame. If he did he would resign. Because he ought to be ashamed, of his role in the war and his behavior in the Riza conflict. But he isn’t.

Wolfowitz and the old boys network that runs this screwed up country feel so confident in their ability to worm their way out of situations that they have given up all pretense of ignorance. They don’t feel any sort of remorse because they don’t have to. They fully rely on one another for some sort of protection from public opinion. As in the case of Gonzales who had support right up until he admitted he might have lied a bit but, so what? Bush is very nearly the only Republican left who hasn’t called for his resignation. Which he would have already turned in, were it not for the fact the he, too, is without any sort of shame.They aren’t distressed by their own actions because they all think they can lie their way out of it. Sometimes they can. But should they?

I’m not that old really (in dog years) and I can still remember a time when politicians and lawmakers felt responsibility for their actions. If they did something they shouldn’t have and got caught, they resigned and you never heard a peep out of them until the obit ran. They understood the natural process of feeling guilt and being ashamed. They took responsibility for their actions. Somewhere this all changed and now no one is responsible for anything. Bush repeatedly infers that this devastating war simply isn’t his fault, it’s the terrorists fault. His administration stresses that it’s the fault of the media for releasing information about illegal programs, not the government for endorsing them in the first place. It’s the fault of the liberal left for sowing discontent over the Administration’s policies, not the Conservative right which has been making new rules to suit themselves for almost eight years.

It’s not just the politicians either. CEO’s and upper management have their grand moments of shamelessness . In the last few years more and more companies are coming under public scrutiny only to declare loudly, “I didn’t do it” with their fingers crossed right out in plain sight. Not even surreptitiously hidden behind their backs. Of course their middle finger seems to be slightly prominent.

The point is what we as a society need is not new or better politicians. What we need is one politician with some sort of ability to feel something besides shameless superior disdain for those who pay their salary.




What would you do if you saw this floating over your house ?


It’s Not A Tragedy, It’s Comedy In Reverse


Let me ask you, is the overdose death of a terminally irresponsible shitwit cum ‘model’ really tragic? I think not. In much the same way as an eighties pop star strangling himself to death while flogging the donkey isn’t tragic. It’s ridiculous. It’s laughable. It’s something to snicker at in our more ungraceful moments as human beings.

Let me see yes, here it is in the OED:

Tragic: Sad, calamitous, deeply distressing

You see, foolish behavior equals becoming member of Wikipedia’s Unusual Deaths list. If you’re going to live that way you’re going to die in a way that makes the biddies in the supermarket read about you and point you out as an example to all of their friends.

Not to mention, think of all the serious suicides who went to all the trouble to plan their deaths and give away their belongings. 600 hundred different prescription pills carpeting a hotel room is a smack in the face of serious suicides everywhere. Idiots who accidentally did something so monumentally stupid they’re now more famous for death than anything they did in life makes you want to throw that very special .38 in the river, so it does.

Also, how does one get through the funeral of these existentially challenged people? I’ll bet that’s an excruciating time. I have no shame. I would have to say something completely inappropriate just to get the elephant to leave the room. Something like “Have you got some Ambian? I think I left my chloral hydrate in my hotel room” Or maybe “That’s a nice lather belt you’re wearing. Can I borrow it for ten minutes?”

Why is it only a tragedy when it’s some famous nitwit? What about the young boy who died in Florida of tooth decay because his mother couldn’t afford a dentist?

Now that’s a freakin’ tragedy


Just Do It


So we visit the seamy side of education today. Yes, I’m talkin’ about sex baby, I’m talkin’ ’bout you and me…. well not you and me, I hardly know you.

I found this.

I thought I had stepped back in time, to like, the nineteen fifties. I had no idea people still thought abstinence was the correct answer in the whole debate. In light of the AIDS epidemic, I thought that had been solved: Buy your kids condoms and pray like hell.

Abstinence is a teenage pipe dream. You simply cannot just tell people not to have sex. Especially impressionable young hormone people with all new parts they wanna try out. Good luck there, G.W.

Oh sure, you can scare the hell out of them. That works for a while, right up until they actually have sex. Then they just get mad. It’s why they have angst. Once they discover that it’s fun but that it doesn’t last that long or that it’s not really a permanent solution to their problems they become adults. Angry, feeling slightly cheated, adults. Ah, growing up is so hard. Why make it harder (insert pun here) than it has to be with a policy that has no merit?

The proper and continuous use of condoms can help stop the spread of HIV/AIDS and other STD’s. Abstinence helps no one. It does it’s job for a while, then, poof, people are going at it like the proverbial guilty little rabbits.

I have an idea, spare them the guilt, give them condoms and instructions. Back before Little Brother stepped into the oval office we used to call this technique ‘parenting’. Don’t wait for the schools to mess your kids up when you can do a much better job at home.

Oh, and guys, that ‘ribbed for her pleasure’ thing? Doesn’t work. Thought you should know.


MySpacers Live Forever


What do you do if you are chugging along through life, updating your MySpace page frequently and suddenly you suffer a freak poodle accident and die?

Not to worry. Your pages will live on and people you’ve never met will extol the shimmering virtue of your crap poetry forever. No, you say. But yes. While you may end up on Wikipedia’s List of Unusual Deaths, you could also find yourself on MyDeathSpace

It’s a nice little archival space for those MySpace users who have passed on to the great unknown, shuffled off their mortal coil, kicked the bucket, taking the permanent dirt nap, ect…

Yes, great pages of poetry and other amusing ramblings can now live on forever and ever.

Or we could just let the space die too.

I think if you are using MySpace for anything, there should be a rider attached that says when you die, YourSpace dies too. It frees up Space for the next budding author to clutter up the Internet with useless garbage.

I will never understand the fascination with MySpace. And everyone has an account, from Politicians to musicians and everything in between. How many cat pictures are there in the world ? And why must we be permanently subjected to them?

Ah, well. I guess it’s like a virtual cemetery.

Hmmm. Creepy .


It Doesn’t Take A Weatherman


So there is a postulation that we in the Blog O’Sphere need a Code of Conduct. We need to be told how to behave and not be allowed to post anonymous so that at any moment we can be found and accused of whatever said accuser can think of.

It’s crap. While I am sorry Kathy Sierra went through such a difficult and frightening experience, we don’t need no stinkin’ badges.

Part of the attraction of blogging for those not really out to make a gazillion dollars or those who aren’t interested in branding themselves is the complete freedom to go on and on using words we wouldn’t say on a daily basis. It’s called freedom of expression and the blogosphere is the last place on earth where that is an acceptable pastime.

The institution of checks and controls makes everyone look like an untamed third grader. While some of us may act that way, mostly we are adults. Mostly.

Personally , I am against death threats and angry sexualization of anyone. However, in my more rational mind I recognize that those who post such garbage are doing so because that is the last avenue open to them. Obviously, they haven’t the intelligence to refute or debate. When you can’t fight on a level playing field, threats of violence are the last resort. Because it always works. Always. It made Ms. Sierra cancel a talk and do what the poster wanted, stop blogging. Violence is the great leveler. The minute we think we or are families are in jeopardy we stop the action that put us there. It takes a very small mind to use violence as a tool for getting what they want. Just look at the Bush Administration.

A code of conduct is for losers and louts who can’t control their insecurities. On the ‘Sphere we are completely free to say what we like. It’s nice here just the way it is. If you don’t want certain comments delete them, moderate them, bait them until they give themselves up. But for the love of some unknown entity, don’t start trying to punish everyone for the teenage antics of some loser who can’t get a date or program as well as a strong, intelligent woman. That is a very slippery slope my friend and it usually ends up looking a lot like the current state of ‘democracy’.

The proposed Code is a form of censorship, and I will never condone the use of that particular action, mostly because it never works. It always has the opposite effect. If you want to make sure flaming and death threats become a national pastime, keep going with the Code thing because the more we can’t do something the more we want to do it. It’s human flaw, what can we do?


Just a Quick Word

Dear Paul Wolfowitz,

Congratulations on your recent difficulty. We’re so proud that yet another one of the Bush administration’s cronies turns out to be a money grabbing ass. In light of your crusade to tackle government corruption in Africa, I find your actions both ironic and satirically satisfying. Seeing as you have been unable to come through on any of your promises and have only succeeded in making a variety of situations worse, it’s nice to know why. This Riza must be a hellcat to make you up her salary to more than Condy makes in a year before taxes.

You neo-cons can’t seem to learn a simple lesson. Never mix business with pleasure. Hope to see you on the unemployment line soon.

With love and kisses