Archive for June, 2007

Love Me, Hate Me

Hello.

Ann Coulter cultivates hate. For example, I really hate the way she shouts over other people in interviews. And I hate they way she uses language to rip people down and rarely gives viable reasons or proof for her positions. She ought to be jailed for abusing the English language this way.

To donate to the Edwards campaign in protest of Coulter, go here.

Dogwoman

The Paper Chase

Hello.

This was the response to a subpoena to turn over information about the domestic spying program.

It’s unfortunate that congressional Democrats have decided to choose confrontation,” said White House spokeswoman Dana Perino. “This is a highly classified program that was specifically designed to protect civil liberties.”

Are you kidding me? The domestic spying program was not designed to protect civil liberties in much the same way that the levees in New Orleans were never designed to withstand a category 5 hurricane. Just because you say something is true doesn’t make it so. If that were the case then I am a five foot nothing size zero supermodel. Yeah.

The Republicans are bristling under the reality that the Democrats are demanding answers. They are doing so because we, the people, are demanding answers. There is an election brewing and the Dems are aware if they want to repeat the landslide they achieved in the last election they better start at least pretending to care. By applying pressure to the White House, in this case directed specifically at Dick ‘Lon’ Cheney, the Democrats are trotting themselves through the hoops we have decided are necessary. It’s actually nice to see.

I have no doubt that the White House will ignore all requests by citing some law that doesn’t really exist. As they do. In the last few years the White House has made Clinton’s request for a definition of the word ‘is’ seem logical. I get dizzy trying to follow their logic for avoiding the laws that have existed in America since long before Bush took office.

It is vital to the Democrat’s survival that they continue their ‘confrontational’ stance with regards to the foolish rhetoric of the current White House regime. International surveys may indicate that anti-US sentiment is at an all time high, but looking around I find that no where is that more exact than here in the US. By shining a direct light on the policies that Americans are questioning the Democrats may stand chance of overwhelming the Republicans in 2008.

Dogwoman

What Cha’ Eatin’ Under There?

Hello.

Today we leave the world of politics and money to venture into a new realm. As I did yesterday when I visited a secondhand store. Okay not a new realm but a rarely used one.

I went to a place that is actually a charity. It’s run by a famous organization of Christians. Rhymes with Malmation Marmy. Or for you literary types, the home of Major Barbara. At any rate there I was wandering the slightly moldy clothes when I came upon a sight so puzzling and horrifying I was actually stopped in my tracks. Literally.

Tucked dutifully behind the long row of jammies was an entire rack of underwear. Panties, knickers, thongs. Underwear. Secondhand underwear.This means that someone wore them and then decided that it would be best to give them away to a charity. AHHHHHHHHH. And not just underwear of pantie persuasion. Camisoles, teddies and other odds and ends.

What is the mindset that allows you to donate your used underwear ? Is it:Poor people need silk teddies too. Because some of these things were Victoria secret undies. And Bras. Hanging there for all the world to see and feel up and fondle. I am amazed I didn’t trip over a stray pervert.

I watched a woman stand there and feel each one. She had an armful of these used dedicates and I just couldn’t help myself. So I asked why she would buy used underwear. I got a well deserved dirty look and then loftily she told me that she doesn’t wear them, she makes doll clothes out of them. At first I thought ‘Clever’, then I thought: Eww. Some girl somewhere is playing with a doll clad in someones old bottoms. I made a mental note to strip every doll belonging to my daughter and replace the clothes with machine made ones from Walmart. Just in case. Better safe than playing with once used panties.

What about all of you in blogland? Ever wear secondhand undies? Ever donate your underwear to a charity? Come on, fess up.

FYI: They also have used mattresses. I’m just sayin’

Dogwoman

Rocky and Bullwinkle Rule

Hello.

I was unaware that the office of the Vice President was it’s own secret order. Like the Masons or the Oddfellows. Apparently Dick “Mad Eye Moody” Cheney is afraid some one will discover his stash of high brow porn. He keeps it in the left hand drawer of his desk, under the first draft of the Patriot Act, which he is considering having bronzed.

The issue is whether the VP is part of the Legislative or Executive branch of our once proud government. Cheney insists that since he presides over the Senate he is under the Legislative branch and therefore not subject to scrutiny applied to the Executive branch. Balls. He knows perfectly well that he is part of the Executive branch, having been appointed by the President. It’s just a little more of the misdirect to mislead the public policy that has been applied by our government since King Bush first took office. Every time Cheney speaks all I hear is ‘Watch me pull a rabbit from my hat, Rocky. Look nothing up my sleeve” with Bush in the background making vague protests yet doing nothing.

I find that the wording in the Constitution for the job of the Executive branch to be most telling given Cheney’s position. It reads:

The main function of the Executive Branch is to do what it is instructed to do by Legislation produced by the Legislative Branch.

So the President’s job is, under Cheney’s version, to do whatever Cheney tells him to do. And here I thought the squirrel had all the power but it turns out the moose was in charge the whole time.

Cheney is subject to the same oversight rules as the President and he knows it. The transparency that Rocky and Bullwinkle are demanding from other governments is also applicable to the Office of the Veep. Cheney needs to pony up the paperwork and let someone know what is going on in his office. We are payng his salary and we have the right to know who visits and what he is classifying and declassifying. There is no reason for all of this Natasha and Boris behavior if Cheney is doing nothing illegal or wrong. And if he is, we reserve the right as his employers to do something about it.

Maybe that’s what he is trying to avoid.

Dogwoman

All That Glitters

Hello.

We live in a nation where whether or not Paris Hilton gets paid an exorbitant amount of money for talking about being a criminal is more important than the fact that we are at war.

Where celebrities regularly hijack international tragedies as their own personal agenda without regard to the true mechanisms that push those tragedies forward. Thereby causing a sound bite mentality that ignores the men behind the curtain pulling international levers of power and influence. People are more likely to listen to George Clooney than Noam Chomsky or Thomas Friedman.

The war in Iraq, the constant struggle in the Nigerian delta, the genocide in Daufur all exist because it serves one power or another for those atrocities to occur. It is important that we begin to realize that all things are connected through the lines of power and that they usually end up in a pool of bloodstained money somewhere.

But no one likes to talk about that part of it. It’s too graphic. It’s too disturbing. So we whine about the media who cleans everything up nice and tidy, because that’s what we have asked them to do. They trot out this weeks’ celebrity and we focus on their torrentially stupid behaviour because it’s less painful than having to confront the unfortunate truths we are current living with.

The truth is we feel completely powerless. Over and over again we hear people say ‘nothing we can do about it’. Somehow we have let our lawmakers convince us that not taking responsibility for their actions is the best way to go. The problem is they are not taking the responsibility either. And this has led to a stalemate within our country. Our government has become sluggish under the current regime. Nothing is accomplished although words are regularly fired over the bulwark. And our lawmakers go out of their way to have their photos taken with the princes and princesses of Hollywood. Ensuring that we are distracted into thinking that something is actually being done, when really nothing is.

Take for example Alberto Gonzales. Why is he still in office? Because it suits Bush to have him there. Or the immigration reform bill that has become unwieldy and overextended. It will never pass. The constant vetoes of actual bills that might accomplish actual tasks such as limiting our involvement in Iraq or creating new therapies through stem cell research.

We are at war not just in Iraq but also within our country. A war of ideologies. The distraction of the wealthy versus the need to correct the path we are on. It is as though we have been living with a veil covering our vision. A bright glittery veil of star and starlets who amuse us. And the politicos have thoroughly enjoyed our distraction. Look at the laws they have passed while we have concerned ourselves elsewhere. The Patriot Act, The FISA laws, new rules governing surveillance and the FBI and state to state banning of same sex marriages.

Angelina Jolie , Brad Pitt and others will not be the ones to correct these errors. They couldn’t care less beyond what it brings them in attention and money. They give lip service to ending the war but what have they really done? Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Because it might hurt their image if they had to act on their empty words.

Perhaps it’s time to pay more attention to Washington D.C. and less to Hollywood. Then maybe we could separate the fact of the war we started without provocation from the fiction of celebrities solving international problems.

Dogwoman

Just A Quick Word Mr. Presidente

Hello.

Dear Emperor President Bush,

Vetoing the stem cell research bill may have been a grave error. Now how will you get a compatible liver? Also it could have been used to help restore your speech- motor functions allowing you a better chance of making comprehensible speeches. And to help keep you from falling on foreign dignitaries.

But of course, if you thought it would be an advantage to you personally, we wouldn’t be having this little tete a tete would we?

Dogwoman

DADA News

Hello.

So I am wandering through my bloglines this morning and while reading the headlines I noticed something. Words. I know, a shocker, but there you are. I noticed that some words appear more often than others. Words like : don’t, complain, warn, say, expert, claim, fueling, killed, worst, talk, target and strike. These words are used repeatedly. It sort of brings you down to read these same words over and over. In fact now that you have the list you don’t even need to read the news. They sum everything up nicely and you can just arrange them anyway you like to make the news you want to hear. Call it DADA news.

I started this post actually with the intent to talk about the furor being fueled by Iran over Rushdie’s knighthood. My thoughts: Who cares. I like some of his work, but knighthood? Eh. It’s not going to stop me from going about my daily routine. Iran takes a different view. Apparently it was irresponsible of the British government to give such an award to one of their own citizens. They should have consulted Iran first. Iran has stopped just short of saying that Queen did it on purpose just to make them mad. Because that’s what she does all day long: Wanders about the castle thinking up ways to stir up international trouble over artists. She’s a real dubious character that Queen Elizabeth. Never mind that there is a committee that makes the list. Or that Salman Rushdie is a citizen of the Crown not Iran. Or that it’s none of Iran business who shows up on the Birthday Honors list. Seriously, Iran is way too vocal these days about the most asinine things. I think they are trying to distract everyone from their nuclear program. A media version of ‘don’t look behind the curtain’. They seem to have forgotten that we already know what’s behind curtain number two. The fatwa against Rushdie was rescinded in 1998. Only a handful of people still think the ridiculous edict should be in effect.

I say, Don’t complain Iran, experts say fueling the claim and warning your target could be the worst thing you can say, better to strike than be killed, besides it’s all talk.

Or

Claim the warning and complain. Experts fueling a target strike will lead to talk about the worst thing you can say, don’t let your ideals be killed.

Or something like that, you can just mix and match then send it on to Iran. It should make about as much sense as their ire over a medal.

Dogwoman

The Write Stuff

Hello.

In order to write one must have a rather cockeyed view of the world. Good writers start out in an isolated pocket of near madness. Novelists must become many different characters and the telling often seems, at the end, to have actually written itself.

Does anyone remember the book Sarah written by one JT Leroy? Only it turns out the the book about a child of a truck-stop prostitute wasn’t written by Leroy. Leroy was actually a writer by the name of Laura Albert. She was never the child of a prostitute, truck stop or otherwise. She is now claiming that the ‘alter ego’ of JT helped her deal with her devastating personal problems. Well, that’s just fine and dandy, but if that is so then the book should have been published as fiction not autobiography.

What we have here is the failure to categorize correctly. While literature looks on the outside to be a three ring circus of chaos, it is a highly specific and exact science. No word is there by accident, though if a story is written well it might seem so. Albert’s use of an ‘alter ego’ is nothing new, many writers have used pseudonyms. Why she decided to go auto rather than fiction is the crux. Many people felt the novel was gritty and revealing when touted as an autobiography, but not many felt the same way when it was revealed to be fictitious. By changing the classifier one can change they way the book is received. It is an unfair deception for which Albert is now paying the price.

There is a certain amount of expectation of honesty when dealing with a job that actually encourages people to lie effectively. Good liars make good writers. But there are ethics involved. Readers are put off by a writer who misrepresents their lies. In recent years, new writers have tried and failed gloriously to changed these age old rules. Albert isn’t the only one. What happens is these new writers are thinking so hard about the garlands that come with a successful novel they forget the most important part of writing. The readers. Without some one to read ones book it becomes future sawdust. And openly deceiving readers without a second thought will kill ones career faster than a Youtube video. Effective writing takes years to master. Many excellent writers are unknown in the world at large but have a loyal and unshakable fan base. This is because they have courted their readers and, in writerly fashion, put themselves in the readers place. To ignore this aspect of writing is to find yourself, like Albert, shunned by the literary world and sitting solidly in the defendant’s chair.

The prizes, laurels, and fame come to those who put the writing first, the readers second and the gains last. True writers don’t write for fame, they write because there is nothing else they can do so well and with so much personal satisfaction.

And because, frankly, we’re all a bit bonkers.

gibber, gibber, sigh.

Dogwoman

Live Aid 6,782 And Counting….

Hello.

Okay, I was alive back in 1985 when they had the first global concert. It was a new thing, a universal Woodstock. I admit I watched a one hour portion of it, decided it wasn’t as much fun as playing in the bog with my grandparent’s bichon frise and abruptly left the room to take said dog to said bog. I would get a charge out of watching my grandfather’s blood pressure visibly rise when I brought the dog back covered in mud and leeches. Ah, good times.

Live Aid was so successful that they seem to have gotten stuck. Now it’s a concert for every disease, ideology and technological flaw they can think of. What’s next, a concert for the criminally insane? Does George Bush really need a global benefit concert? I say this as there are plans for a concert for global warming. In light of the amount of power needed to generate such an event it would seem to be a bit of an oxymoron. And now a concert for peace. So we’ve come full circle. The original Woodstock was a supposed to be a quiet little outdoor gig for the peaceniks. Who knew there were so many of us stoned and unwashed hippies littering the United States. I think that the original idea of music for the sake of music is the magic element missing from these large unwieldy self absorbed benefit concerts. I like music. I hate hypocrisy and arrogance. And okra. So enough with the grandstanding you overfed yabbos. We don’t need another ‘reunion’ of old eighties pop stars who really weren’t that talented to begin with taking over our Internet and televisions. It’s sad to watch, really. I spend all my time doing before/after critiques and whatever music might be warbling out of the wind blown microphones is completely ignored in favor of comments like “My god, he’s gotten fat.” Or “Wow, they need to cut their Oxycontin with something.” And of course, the ever popular ” Whoever dressed that man should be pilloried.”

I think to liven things up we should take those who wish to do a global benefit concert to the bog. It could be a new reality show: Concert in the Bog. They would be expected to perform whilst trying to avoid sinking forever into the murky depths and fighting off leeches. As an extra bonus we could throw the organizers in with them as a grand finale.

I would watch that.

Dogwoman

On The Campaign Trailer

Hello.

Actors in the White House. While it can be argued that these days everyone in the White house is an actor, I am referring, of course, to Fred Thompson.

He seems to have a large and vocal following. The press is apparently awed by the fact that so far he hasn’t spent a dime on his campaign. I am awed by the fact that the man who lobbied for the deregulation of the Savings and Loan banks in the 80’s is running for President. Or the fact that no one wants to mention that Fred Thompson has been a corporate lobbyist for more than twenty years. His last lobby job was for Equitas in which he lobbied to help Equitas avoid paying claims for asbestos related illnesses.

Yes, Fred Thompson is a gem. A real good old boy network relic who has over the years helped businesses avoid paying where they should and gaining where they shouldn’t.

And he backed McCain in the primaries for the 2000 presidential race. That right there ought to disqualify him.

He did a commercial for the Pro-War group Citizens United endorsing the war in Iraq.

The whole bru hahah with Michael Moore not withstanding, this guy is no one I would want near the White house let alone living there. Like Bush, his entire career has been built around helping corporations gain influence in Washington. At no point in his days as a lobbyist does one find him doing anything that could be considered remotely good for the common man. His continued endorsement of the war in Iraq is affront to the majority of Americans, including military families I might add, who wish to see an end to this puppet war.

Fred Thompson, despite what the media hype might tell you, is not a man who has the interests of the American people in mind. He has the interests of American business and the War machine in mind. His media spanking of Michael Moore is a good indicator of this. The whole thing had less, I suspect, to do with Moore’s trip to Cuba than the fact that his movie put one of the largest money making businesses in America under a media microscope. And the results were less than pretty. Is Thompson considering a career as a pharma lobbyist should his Presidential bid not bear fruit? A man who has gone so far out of his way to further corporate interests should keep quiet.

Maybe we could get Thompson and Bono together. They could lobby to make the Red Program the offical profiteering scam of the Republican party for 2008.

Dogwoman