An American Renactment

Hello.

The American People: Mr. President, what is that you have behind your back?

Prez: Wha?

AP: Don’t act like you don’t know what we’re talking about. Come on, out with it.

Prez: It’s nothing. Just a bag, dad.

Ap: Just a bag. Mmmm. Let me see it.

Prez: No.

AP: Give it.

Pez: No. I don’t gotta. I got privilges, priviligdes, privateline, No.

AP: You give it to me this instant Mr. Man or there will be consequences.

Prez: Fine. Here.

AP: What is this? Is this a wiretapping scam? What are you doing with a FISA regulated program?

Prez: I was just playing with it a bit. Tweaking it.

AP: Great, look at this. You’ve got AT&T, Verizon and Yahoo all tangled up in it. What a mess. This’ll take forever to sort out. What? What is this? Is this a war? You have a war in your bag. You know you’re not allowed to just have a war.

Prez: I got permission.

AP: From who?

Prez: People.

AP: What people?

Prez: People..mumble mumble

AP: ‘Scuse?

Prez: Fine. God. People I might have lied to.

AP :This is just embarrassing. How are you going to explain this? Look at this will you? Suicide bombers everywhere, oil all over the place..oh great, half the continents aren’t even speaking to us. Is France giving us the finger? Nice. Oh, and Russia too, what a surprise. We’ll just give this back to Congress to fix. You are in soooo much trouble Mr. You just wait until we get… Oh my lord, is this the Constitution? What the hell happened to it ?

Prez: Cheney said I could do whatever I wanted to it.

AP: It’s all mangled. Half the civil liberties are missing. Where are they?

Prez: I hid them.

AP: Well, you better give them back. What is this giant stai- is that barbecue sauce? On the Constitution. You got barbecue sauce on the nations oldest document?

Prez : I was hungry.

Ap: You were hungry. And busy while we weren’t looking, apparently. You are a naughty President. I’ve a mind to take away your Executive Privileges. And your veto. I just don’t know what we’re going to do with you. We’ve tried and tried. Well, I’m waiting, what should we do with you?

Prez: What? I wasn’t listening.

Dogwoman

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