Parlez Vous?


As someone who hopes to be a competent interpreter at some point, most hopefully before I die, I am always puzzled by the interpreters I see at Presidential news conferences. Particularly when you know the person using the interpreter probably speaks better English than our President. Like Sarkozy. Or Ahamumblemumble. Or Chavez. You know they can speak English, so what’s with the interpreters?

I thinks it’s a relative f-you. And I suspect they are not really saying what the interpreter says out loud. I think he’s cleaning it up. So things like “Vous etes un putain”, becomes “I like your country very much”. Yeah, I don’t trust a person who speaks the visiting countries language but pays some guy to follow him around and act like everything is so new and puzzling.

This principle doesn’t work in reverse, unfortunately. Bush speaks two languages: Money and Power. Everything else is a crap shoot. This is why when he visits other heads of state they very politely speak English. They know we voted in a guy who has no communication skills. That’s why when you look at the video of Bush in another country they are speaking in short, concise, sentences. Just so he fully understands everything that’s being said. I think he should hire his own interpreter. The interpreter could translate everything into Hick for him and make foreign relations that much easier. Sentences like “Thank you for coming to our country. We are happy to host you.” could become “Hi Y’all. Shore is mighty nice of y’all to come on out” Even if the French interpreter for the French news is actually translating that into ” Foutrez vous, cachon Americain!”

Of course I joke. Kind of.


* Any resemblance to any dialect is purely coincidental and not intended to poke fun at anyone but the President of the United States.

* I don’t spell any better in French than I do in English. I am globally spelling challenged, you ought to see my fingerspelling. Oi!


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