Archive for April, 2008

The Big One

Hello.

A series of earthquakes has hit the Mid-West. 18 of them since Friday. Is Illinois about to set sail into Lake Michigan or is this just another hoax by Republicans?

That’s right I blame Republicans for everything, including unnatural phenomena.

Certainly explains the Bush Presidency, now doesn’t it?

Dogwoman

&^*%$#@*(*^!!!!!

Hello.

I had someone e-mail me to ask why I hadn’t blogged about Obama’s comment on those poor working class Pennsylvanians.

Well, the answer is I was too busy being bitter and clinging to my gun in church. Michigan is full of militias, ya know.

In my unfettered and honest opinion, the comment makes him look like an ass. To compare a town that has lost it’s lively-hood to corporations’ insane rush of greed to his own past in which he traded in his $200,00 condo for a 1.5 million dollar mansion is ridiculous. It’s not elitist, it is a powerfully sad commentary on the State of Our Union. But that’s his problem. Like Hilary’s story of gunfire and subsequent debunking by video.

The Candidates spend too much time blathering about nothing. I’m pretty sure their platforms are made out of waterlogged Katrina timber. Shaky, unstable and likely to be a blatant pack of lies that could fall on them at any moment.

Should one of them make a serious statement that doesn’t make me grumble and throw things at my computer, I would be happy to blog about it.

Dogwoman

Bob The Builder

Hello.

I’ve been watching the events in Zimbabwe with interest. Over the last four years I have spouted off to anyone who would still listen about this guy. Mainly the diatribes centered around the idea that he is senile. And so it would seem in light of the election catastrophe still going on.

Voters in Zimbabwe voted over a month ago.The opposition claimed Parliament and the presidency. Yet results have yet to be released. There have been legal requests, denial of those requests, threats of a recount, arrests, and intervention by South Africa. Still no results.

There have been brief press releases and a long speech that implicated Britain and other ‘Western Powers’ in a cover up and/ or secret mission to bring down Zimbabwe. However, I think Mr. Bob has overlooked that fact that he himself has destroyed his own country with poor policies aimed at keeping him in the position of power.

I’m fairly certain his decline started with his land ownership program. There would have been no problems with the switching of larger industrial farms to black owners had Bob taken the time and research to locate qualified farmers. Or if he had bothered to train those farmers in the running of a large farm unit, which is in fact, different than having two acres and a hoe. No training, no government support, no subsidies for the farmers to keep the farms running while they learned the ins and outs of business. Just and a deed and a hearty good luck. Surprise, many of the farms went into decline and food prices jumped way up. This then was the beginning.

As the inflation rates began to climb because of the food prices and the demise of the agrarian sector, unrest soon followed. There were offers of help from the IMF and the World Bank. They were told not so politely to get bent. Bob didn’t want any outsiders, particularly westerners, buggering about with his country. Inflation rose to 700%. People began taking wheelbarrows to the bank. Commodities were hard to come by especially cooking oil and corn. South Africa stepped in to help with the ensuing energy crisis but even then they wanted to get paid. Bob did manage to scrape together a bit to pay part of his debt but not all of it. Chinese companies helped out but same scenario. By the time inflation reached 1000% the country had to begin printing bigger denominations of currency just to cover basic costs. Jobs in the government sector , teachers, doctors, were not being paid and many people were fleeing to South Africa to find work.

In this climate Bob launched a campaign to silence anyone who disagreed with him. The only people still being paid a living wage were the army and the police. They were directed to arrest opposition leaders. During the arrest and imprisonment many of them came away with bruises and head injuries.

And that is the Zimbabwe Robert Mugabe built. A starving,frightened, harassed population and no stable infrastructure.

Now the country is being told that the voters still want him as President and that the opposition has to submit to a recount which will probably take away any leads the MDC did have. I fail to see even the most twisted logic in this.

It’s hard to watch a country that started with such promise and enthusiasm being flushed down the toilet because of one man’s senile need to cling to a power he has already lost. Future generations, instead of hailing him as the leader who threw off colonialism and created a great Africa nation of promise, will see him as the worst decision they ever made.

Dogwoman

Going To The Chapel

Hello.

I watched the last vestiges of my childhood disappear yesterday. Most people see this happen in their early twenties, maybe thirties. I, however, have desperately clung to the past with a willful vengeance. When I attended the wedding of my oldest and dearest friend, I saw the completion of a circle of time.

All through our childhood and teens I vowed never to marry.  She vowed only to marry the right person at the right time. Only one of us got it right.

At the reception I realized I will now begin attending more funerals than weddings. I understood the passage of time more acutely than ever before. I watched her ‘little’ brother chase his joyful daughter across the dance floor in an effort to keep her from pulling down the cake table. I saw the little boy who used to plague us with tricks easily carry his daughter in one hand and a beer bottle in the other as he strode back to his table, smiling. It was strange to think that the times I remember most fondly have passed. As though I had somehow never noticed it before. But there it was, in the faces and conversations of people I once thought of as timeless. Silently, children have grown, we have aged.

Things have changed. As they do. My friend and I have both been a little too busy to spend much time together lately. No longer a single with unlimited free time, she balances her busy schedule with amazing ease and good humor. And that is the quality that has made her such a singular influence in my life.  According to my friend, no problem is a tragedy, and many things are worth waiting for. Including her new husband. She never compromises what she wants, she waits. And, as in the choice of her spouse, she is always greatly rewarded for her patience.

That said, our lives have moved forward at a rapid pace. It is easy to think that things won’t change much, but they do. We get busy, we forget, sometimes we get a little lost or overwhelmed with our responsibilities. It happens so subtly we barely notice it.  Even so, there is a magic to old friendships that time cannot erase.

My friend and I have always managed to make each other laugh. When I need a pick me up, I call and within minutes she has me giggling foolishly. At the ceremony I had to avoid looking at her during the reading for fear we would both burst out in childish good humor. ‘How absurd’ I thought ‘My friend is getting married’. As though time had not passed, as though we were still directionless teenagers, as though we could solve the world’s problems with a bottle of vodka. I miss those times.

Even so, I look forward to watching her new life unfold. Marriage is a surprising and often curious place to find oneself.  There are moments of perfect understanding and those of perfect mis-communication. It’s an old cliche that says a good marriage takes work. In truth, it takes patience and rationality in a  type of relationship that often defies those very principles.

I have no doubt that in this, as she has in everything, she will  teach me yet something else about the eccentric nature of time and friendship and love.

Dogwoman

MIA: Widgets

Hello.

I only have half the recommended amount of time to blog today. My presence is requested at a party this morning. Yes, this morning. It’s good to be Irishish.

I have been overhauling the sidebar of my blog. I was happily changing things about tweaking here, woofing there. When I finished, I saved the whole mess. Then discovered that my RSS feeds have all disappeared. Oh, woe is me.

I’ve tried reconstruction. Alas, I am still in woe because I cannot get them to come back. I tried bribery, cajoling and coaxing, and of course, yelling.

I think they are on strike.

Unless they were stolen by a widget thief. In which case I may be waiting for ransom demands.

If you see some unattached widgets running carefree about the net or quite possibly holed up on some other blog shaking with duct tape over their mouths, could you please coax and/or rescue them and send them back to the ‘House ire built.

I’d be ever so grateful.

Dogwoman

Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire

Hello.

My weather metery widget is telling me that my city is having a huge rainstorm. It is in fact barely misting.

It LIIIIEEEESSSSS.

Everyone lies. Except of course, political candidates. Unless your name rhymes with Millary Minton.

John “I have Head and Ass Syndrome ” McCain would never tell a lie to general public. But he might let bloggers and news cameras catch him on film. According to McCain downtown Bagdad is the place to be for all your shopping needs. Let’s not forget his little white ones in the eighties that helped spur the Savings and Loan crisis.  No, No, John is a straight shooter who never fudges, flip flops or tries to get one over.

Obama would never lie to the general public either. He might capitalize on one someone else told but, such a thing is morally beneath him. Right. I deeply enjoyed his speech on race and his attempt to distance while not looking like he was distancing himself from the Rev.  Lying by omission or pretended ignorance counts.

I’ve not met anyone who doesn’t lie. People lie to get out of trouble, to avoid trouble, to look better than they are, to get something, to lose something, to hold onto something, to let go of something. A lie can be helpful, detrimental, interesting, painful or useful.

I’m lying to you right now, maybe. For all anyone out there knows I am a right wing Republican who regularly gets off with pictures of Bono. I’m not and the very thought is revolting, but how do you know?

Certain things need to be overlooked. If one starts with the premise that everyone lies life is a lot less complicated. It opens up a path by which one can start to look underneath the lies and hear what is not being said rather than what is. Often the important information coming out of someones’ mouth is the very thing they won’t say.

Such as, McCain for all of his ranting about how Dems can’t end the war, never once mentions how HE will deal with it should he become our President. I’ve no doubt he has a plan but, I’m willing to bet it’s not one the general public would like very much.

Every candidate has an issue they don’t discuss. Instead of being sidetracked by the media circus, look under it and see what’s not being said. That’s where one will find the candidates true beliefs and morals.

And honestly, I regularly get off with pictures of  Paul Wolfowitz.

(As if)

Dogwoman

Definition

Hello.

A definiton to help ordinary people understand our economy.

Recession – An economic situation in which the poor are deeply effected causing difficulty maintaining the basic necessities of day to day life. Often resulting in the loss of shelter or food or both.

Depression – An economic situation in which the wealthy must fire the gardener and drive themselves to the airport.

Dogwoman