Archive for August, 2008

Meet The New Boss, Same As The Old Boss


I’ve been avoiding political themes, I know. The reason is simple. I’m tired of both of the candidates. Particularly Barack Obama.

I can’t get through the news when every other story is about something one of them may have said or done to the other. And all the while anything Cheney and Bush may be doing in the background is ignored.

Also, as a Michigan voter I can do nothing less than assume that Barak stole our delegates from Hilary. For perhaps the first time in history a candidate who was not on a state ballot had delegates voting in the National Convention. Regardless of what Howard Dean may be saying, it was Obama’s decision not to put his name on the ballot. The DNC should not have given him half of what he did not earn. And then to go ahead and seat the Delegates after promising they didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of doing so is nothing less than thievery.

I understand that the party needed to ‘show unity’  in order to stave off Republican attacks, but let’s face it, Hilary got hosed. For her to give such a fantastic speech during the convention when in fact she should have been berating Howard Dean shows a great deal of tact. And kudos to Bill as well.

Both of them went out and did what needed to be done despite the obvious failure of the DNC to run a fair campaign.

While I am pleased to see that for the first time in history we have nominated an African-American for the office of President.  I am disgruntled at the way in which it was achieved. It feels as though this race is being run by the Internet hacks and the beleaguered media rather than by the average voters. the average American is being told how to vote by a barrage of media and Internet ads and sites rather than being given a chance to weigh their options. It’s distasteful to me.

So if you find that my political coverage is light for the next few months it’s because I am revolted by both of the major party candidates. There is a great deal at stake in this race and to me neither candidate represents a ‘change’. As for unity , the pundits can go on as many talk shows as they like, the party is split and we all know it. They can gloss over Bidens’ abysmal record all they like, the only ones it fools are the younger voters.  When Democratic leaders are shaking their heads in sorrow one knows the wrong pick has been made.  When Hilary supporters are flooding the Internet with calls to back John McCain even as the Convention is preaching a watery ‘unity” theme there is a problem.

And it’s a problem that won’t disappear just because the DNC wants it to. It needs to be addressed. But, we all know it won’t.


It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year


It’s that time again. The smell of new shoes is in the air. The delicate sound of shouting and screaming outside the bedroom window as students line up at 6:45 a.m. to wait for the bus.

They’re going back.

And so am I. Another year of self-abuse and personal flagellation I like to call My Career As a Professional Substitute. This year our district has signed on with a professional contractor, ergo, I get benefits. Yeah! And five separate districts that I am contracted to. Boo! New students. Yeah! New administrators. Boo!

I am actually looking forward to this year. I have put together all of my papers, pencils, lesson plans, notebooks, printables, stickers, paperclips, xanax and vodka. Now all I need are the assignments.

You know how little kids get ready at 4 am for the first day of school and then just sit on the couch waiting for the ok to run to the bus? Yeah, that’s me. Just swinging my feet and waiting to say those magic words:

“If you don’t give me that phone right now I will call security and have you suspended.”

Ah, it’s gong to be a great year. I can feel it.


What The Internet Is Really For


For all of those that think the Internet is just for porn, gambling and games, I give you this awesome story.

Now, don’t you feel bad about looking up homosexual dwarfs and playing Jewel Quest?


Lexi Con


During this summer we the people have seen a variety of conferences. I know this because I regularly get weird content related updates. I was wondering, when did the word Conference get shortened to Con ? Who is responsible? Comic Con , Def Con , Ima Con…..

I think if this is the new trend we should have one called Lexi Con. This would be a conference in which new words would be unveiled to Internet related oohs and ahhs. There would be different sections for different needs. Teenagers could go to the texting booth and willfully scramble letters about to no purpose. Pundits could have their own booth in which they peruse extreme linguistic gymnastics. Teachers could have a section in which they learn all the new and upcoming slang invented over at the Gang Banger and Heavy Rap booth. A place for scrabble players, angry grammarians, and eleven year old dorks who use the dictionary to look up new words for the female anatomy.

Ah yes, let’s not forget the demonstrations of how these amazing new words will work once the bugs have been fixed. Or the people who will dress up as their favorite words. I’d’ love to see someone dressed in a bright green Flabbergasted costume wandering about getting their picture taken. I know I would enjoy long extemporaneous real time posts of every freakin’ thing that happens to the poster up to and including what he eats for lunch. Probably alphabet soup, I’m guessing.

This could be a lot of fun. Really. It won’t just be another excuse to get a bunch of jingoistic fringe elements together to figure out how to sucker people into thinking they are somehow missing out on something awesome and life-changing.

So join me in creating yet another Con, won’t you?


And The V.P Is….


Joseph Biden? Really.

Ya know I only get sixty minutes per post. To go on about Obama’s running mate would take at least three post times.

I’m wondering who thought Joe ” I make more verbal mistakes than G.W. has in a lifetime” Biden was a good idea? I guess it’s hard to remember that most of America is old and not afflicted with Alzheimer’s. Already the plagiarism jokes and snickering have started and it’s only been a few hours. And this from the Democrats. *Sigh*

Good luck with that, O-man. You’re not getting any points for good decision making these days are you?


You Don’t Say


What? The Georgia Bigfoot thing was a hoax? No way. It can’t be. It seemed so real to me.

Bigfoot is to real as George Bush’s version of Democracy is to freedom.


Limits On Net Neutrality?


I have to say I have no idea who to make fun of today. The choices are many. Do I go with the Russian Pullout? Or what about Condaleeza Rice threatening Russia? Or the Iran ‘satallite’ ? Actually now that I am typing I think I’ll blog about something else. Something decidedly unfunny.

I recently had an e-friend mail me a link to a sprawling website I’d never heard of. The reason I’d never heard of it apparently is because I am old and have scruples. It’s called 4chan. Run by a guy who calls himself Moot.

The thing is that most of the site is Anime based. A whole section of the world I have relatively no interest in. However, then there is the Random board which hosts everything from blaze wars to what can only be described as nearly child porn. The entire board is crude and occasionally repulsive. One anonymous user has photos of a cat being burned to death as his avatar. This is the same site that spawned I Can Haz Cheeseburger and LOLCats.

I write about it because it puzzles me. The entire site is anonymous. So one never knows who is posting. I am all for Net Neutrality but this might be pushing the bounds of what is acceptable. I am not for regulatory sanitizing of what people can access on the net. Yet, what possible use is a site that allows for an entire section of Hardcore porn with rapid filesharing and the only thing a 10 year old has to do to access it is click the “Yes I’m Eighteen ” button?

So I find myself in a quandry. While I cannot endorse the unethical, possibly criminal, behavior of some of the 4chan posters, I also cannot say they don’t have right to post as they please.

What do you think about 4chan?


The Mouse Wants Better Cheese and New Nesting Material


Soooooo, with Russia violating international law in just the way G.W. taught them to, something monumental is going on right here at home.

NO, not giant groups of Phelps phans running amok causing riots and burning cars. Swimming fanatics are just not that motivated.

I refer of course to the great Disney Protest. That’s right mouseketeers, your busboys and hotel workers are wearing costumes and blocking entrances.

Why? you ask Why why has this horror been rained down upon the American Dream? Have we not suffered enough?

Because Disney wants to begin treating them just like every other underpaid worker on the planet. The main issue seems to center around the slashing of their free health care. I repeat, busboys, cleaning women and other hotel workers are receiving free health care. Yeah that’s what I thought too.

I work teaching and corralling the potential of tomorrow and I don’t have health care at all. Let alone free.

Amid the whining, the Union said that they didn’t want to send out the actual character workers to protest. So they sent the hotel workers dressed in costumes instead.

Nothing like getting it from both sides. What I can’t believe is that these idiots went for it. This might explain why talks keep breaking down.

The ‘House’ll keep you posted as this breaking story develops.

Who am I kidding? No I won’t.


Coraline Contest


Because I love the way my stats spike whenever I mention Neil Gaiman, I thought I would bring yet another Gaiman contest to your attention.

Go here  to try for a chance at visiting the Coraline shoot.

One note, if you don’t know the answer to the two questions you are an idiot and have no business being anywhere near Neil Gaiman or any other living, breathing person.

I’m just sayin’.


Straight From the Horse’s Arse


In a speech relating to the Russian conflict this is what G.W. had to say:

“Russia’s government must respect Georgia’s territorial integrity and sovereignty..”

Hypocrisy or Irony, you decide.

I find it interesting that a man reviled worldwide as a warmongering saber rattler of epic proportions would decide now is a good time to step up onto the soapbox and point fingers.

Calling for human rights expansion in China and Russia to quit it’s campaign of violence in Georgia while vetoing every effort to bring our troops home from Iraq, even at the Iraqi government’s request, is disgraceful. I noticed, however, no one is calling him on it.

Well, I am. Tag you’re it, Georgie Porgie.