Archive for the ‘crazy people’ Category

Education First

Hello.

Why is it when right-wing conservative types post virulent comments they spell everything wrong?

I’m not pointing fingers. God knows, I have made my share of spelling gaffes. However, there are two types of spelling errors.

1) The kind of spelling error that results from a faulty phonics logic. This usually will bring one within a short distance of the correct spelling. These are the kind I generally make.

2) The kind of spelling error that screams “Fonics really Phukked me up!” Generally made by ignoring all of the phonics rules within the English language. These are the ones I refer to in the opening sentence of this post.

If you are going to insult, demean and degrade strangers, do it with panache. Do it with style.

Do it with spell check.

An unfounded accusation really loses something when the person that is being insulted has to guess at what you are talking about by deciphering your tedious spelling.

Right is not spelled r-i-t-e.

Traitor is not spelled t-r-a-i-t-e-r.

Shite is not spelled s-h-i-i-t-e. That is some thing else entirely: pronounced Shee-ite. A form of Islam. Which might change the content of your ballsy message just a little bit.

If right wingers in small Southern states want to be taken seriously, they should really make an effort to upgrade their spelling. Use that dictionary for more than something to keep your trailer level. It seems like a nit picky thing but, an incorrectly spelled insult can really set the opposition to laughing.

So as you, a self righteous indignant right winger go out into the cruel Obama world, try to spell your Nazi protest signs, scathing blog posts,  troll comments and general words of  anger at losing the Presidential election to an articulate and charming black guy, correctly. Not Kerectly.

Dogwoman

Careful There, You Almost Stepped In It

Hello.

Dearest Rush Limbaugh,

When you were a child, did you know that one day you would grow up to be  a heinous individual whose verbal incontinence caused people to want to ram steak knives into their ear canals? Did you?

I was only asking because comparing our President to the entire Nazi regime and encouraging hillbilly followers to disrupt town hall meetings and/or physically abuse complete strangers seems like a unusual life goal.  I understand the need to have a goal. I have goals. I have a great dream where it is illegal to spread slander. Oh wait, (headslap) that’s not a dream.

You, my fat bellied friend, are skating really close to the edge of a dangerous pond.  While one may in fact poke fun at the President of the United States, and I for one, really miss having the ammunition to do so, one cannot imply that one knows for certain that he is a Nazi,without actual proof.  You are probably wondering how you did that. It comes from stating, however vaguely, that the swastika is used in any manner by  the United States government or in this case, President Obama. The use of said emblem in any way would by association imply that our President is indeed a Nazi. And then the big bad Government agencies that you would like to see let loose on common citizens would actually be after…you. For slander of a public figure. Which you have barely escaped doing in your little tirade yesterday.

The most fun part of this is that the swastika is only being used  by your fellow right wingers on their protest signs. They are carrying the emblem. And waving it about. And shouting threatening slogans at innocent bystanders. So, by your own wise definition system, are they not in fact advertising themselves to be…….I’ll let you figure that one out.

Have a great, big, giant, red white and blue day! And see if you can’t work on getting some kind of internal editor before you end up back in the slammer.

Dogwoman

Gimme Back My Bottle

Hello.

Got a cold? A terrific headache? A random old person muscle pain?

Well, screw you! SUFFER!

The FDA wants to make medications that contain acetaminophen by prescription only.

Because Americans can’t read labels. Because we need the FDA to tell us what to do and how to live. Because rational decisions should never be left to the great unwashed.

So if I have the flu and I want to grab something to relieve my symptoms, because 1600 people annually refuse to believe the dosage limits, I have to pay to see a doctor, and inflated prices to get it from a pharmacy?

It as great big scheme. A definite money maker to be sure. Everyone gets a twinge or a headache. I don’t know too many people in my line of work who don’t carry pain relievers on their person. Usually giant bags of it . That doesn’t mean we’re tossing them back with abandon or snarfing them down every fifteen minutes. The reason people overdose is because they are impatient or have not taken the meds with enough water to make them break down and begin to work. Those are the Morons who should  have every one of their decisions monitored. The rest of us can read. And think. And function quite well without 24 hour supervision by a government agency known for corruption and kickbacks, thank you.

Stop trying to regulate us to death. We don’t need a bloated group of greedy bastards to determine the collective level of common sense. Americans are smarter than we are given credit for. Well, mostly. Our politicians are making it hard to back up that statement but the rest of us are just fine. Mostly.

Hey here’s an idea, why don’t we start actually regulating the regulators?  The FDA pretty much does as they please in the interest of ‘public health’. As long as it will inflate their bank account.

If they’re so good at their  job why is there a never-ending supply of E. Coli in our food?  They are the FOOD and Drug Administration aren’t they? Start there zipperheads and then worry about Grandpa choking down a Tylenol for his back pain.

Dogwoman

Seriously?

Hello.

Because I like to read and hear what people have to say, including people I think are nuts and need 24 hour care, like, oh, I don’t know, ..Rush Limbaugh, I go to their websites. It’s always an eye opener. It makes me wonder why we tolerate these hate mongers. If you were to believe everything on Limbaugh’s site, it would seem Barak Obama is the cause of every problem the United States is currently facing. And apparently , if you believe this guy, Obama is single handedly destroying the American Middle Class.

Sorry Rushie McRushenstein, that was accomplished by Bush and Cheney.

I understand restoring civil rights and attempting to try to keep Campaign promises  can be very scary to people like yourself  for whom that which is different is an aberration rather than a celebration but,

 Seriously??

Take for instance the post from yesterday, which was about Sarah Palin trying to keep the limelight by using her own daughter and arbitrary comments made by David Letterman as a vehicle. Rushie the Deaf by Opiates McTruth Twister somehow tried to twist this into somehow being Obama’s fault. Because Comedians only go after Republicans. Never Democrats. Certainly never Chelsea Clinton. No, noooo, no way. In much the same way Palin’s daughter’s lauded pregnancy suddenly became ‘statutory rape’ when it was convenient.

Rush Limbaugh is anything but the voice of reason. He’s just another hate pusher. He’s an emotional drug dealer for those who are afraid of anything different than that which they deal with on a daily basis. I’ve noticed he’s not pushing that War on Drugs anymore.  Oh right, we’re supposed to feel bad for him for being the best and brightest hypocrite of all time.  Like Martha Stewart. Why are those two not married?  And while I contend that we all have a bit o’ the hypocrite inside of us, I refuse to exonerate a guy who spews forth some of  the craziest ideas I’ve ever heard in an effort to smear people who are at least doing something to fix the mess Bush left behind.

All Rush is doing is sitting on his enourmous ass and whining.

Even I can do that.

In fact I’m doing it right now while playing a game and listening to Radiohead.

See, it’s not that hard.

 

Dogwoman

Monkeys, Republican Yapping and A Program Announcement

Hello.

Late posting today. See, normally I would be working. I took a job and the automated system called me back half an hour later to cancel. So I took another job as a late start. The system called me back ten minutes later to cancel. Now, either I am the most hated sub or the company I am currently working for is run by angry monkeys. Confused,angry, monkeys.

I was reading Neil Gaiman’s blog today and he wrote about overhearing some Republicans yapping away in a Hotel lobby. He seemed confused by their airing personal details about public figures where strangers could hear them, raising some question of private versus public privacy. See, these people do not know that there is a difference, so his confusion is legitimate. Normal people understand that the entire world couldn’t, up to a certain point ,care less about their opinions. What makes wealthy Americans, especially wealthy Republican Americans, so insufferable is their belief that everyone cares what they think. Or that no one would dare repeat anything they over heard, such is their elevated status in the world. It’s quite annoying. If it had been me, I would have live blogged every word that came out of their overfed arrogant mouths and posted it, poste haste. However, Neil Gaiman is a far kinder and more level headed person than I.

And I wanted to mention that I will be live blogging the election starting at 6:00 pm, next Tuesday. It will be in the form of a Presidential Smackdown Death Match. We might even see a little V.P. action before the night is out.

Cheers

Dogwoman

You Don’t Say

Hello.

What? The Georgia Bigfoot thing was a hoax? No way. It can’t be. It seemed so real to me.

Bigfoot is to real as George Bush’s version of Democracy is to freedom.

Dogwoman

Just Say No To Drugging Children

Hello.

Is your child a daydreamer? Do they spend time living in a world of their own creation? Do you find it really annoying when they tell you long winded stories about things that are outrageous? Are you concerned that this might be a sign of mental illness because they are not thinking clearly, like an adult?

Have I got a website/cure for you!

Apparently, if you give them an herbal essence you can cure this terrible affliction. In fact, according to this website, you can cure everything that’s wrong with children today with a few drops of flower essences.

I originally found this in a health food store and spent a good five minutes laughing and the rest of the night being puzzled. Clematis is not a flower I would recommend anyone ingest.  People have an over-confidence problem when it comes to anything labeled “herbal”.  It’s hard to keep in mind that all those nifty medical prescriptions come from plants and flowers, the only difference is the active ingredient has been supercharged or isolated depending on the drug. For a long time Comfrey was on the shelves as a tea, despite the fact that anyone with even a little knowledge would say one should never take Comfrey internally. Eventually the government got wise and ordered that all Comfrey teas be pulled from the shelves.

Herbal medications, like general prescription drugs, ‘cure’ nothing. They alleviate symptoms. And there are a whole bunch of provisos that if one is not aware of can actually make one very ill. For example, if you take warfarin or coumadin you should never drink chamomile tea. Chamomile contains cumarins and if you are on a blood thinner you could bleed internally.

All that aside, if you are giving your child herbal medications to fix shyness or tantrums, there is something wrong with you. Some children are shy, some are bratty,  it’s called having a personality. As for a daydreamer, well some children are more creative than others. It’s not an affliction that needs medication. If they refuse to have any social contact or scream when you touch them get them tested for autism, otherwise leave them alone.

I for one am a champion daydreamer. I love to slip off mentally and take a vacation once in while. Then I write about it. My son also spends time in a world of his own. Then he writes music. There is nothing wrong with nipping out just to enjoy your own mind every so often. It’s called being creative. Without it science would never catch up to fiction.

So parents, relax, and know that having a creative intelligent child is not something you need to have them medicated for. They’ll either outgrow it or write a new symphony.

Hopefully, we will soon find a plant that will cure overactive stupidity in parents, until that day comes……

Dogwoman