Archive for the ‘Hades’ Category

CelebriBible

hello.

One might think that such things as a world wide, excruciatingly slow, collapse of financial markets, abnormally violent weather and Sarah Palin appearing on Saturday Night Live might be a sign that the end is near, but, no.

The true sign of the times is a book. A giant glossy book with pictures of Bono, Angelina Jolie and Nelson Mandela. No, it’s not a book of past Vanity Fair articles. It’s the Bible.

That’s right, some enterprising Swede has come up with a Bible that catches the eye. For all of those who think there are just too many words and not enough shallow glitz in their scripture, this Books’ for you.

Now, honestly. Isn’t this a bit like the Devil printing his own version? I can see how it might bring comfort to those who wander about their McMansions feeling lost. How inspiring to look down and see a bible that has pictures of your friends splashed throughout it. Ahh, warms the cockles of a shriveled greedy heart, so it does.

But then there is the rest of us, you nutters. Also, it could just be me but isn’t putting pictures of wealthy capitalists in the bible a bit sacrilegious? I was taught that greed of any kind was against the teachings. I took that to mean greed not only for money but also attention, among other things. Is the world not plastic enough? Does there really need to be a celebribible?

And what’s with the implied eyebrow piercing? What is that supposed to symbolize exactly?

The author grandly points out that all of the books are layed out like magazine articles.

Great, what’s next an interactive Bible with Fox News headlines scrolling across the bottom?

Some people have waaayyyyyy too much time on their hands. And should probably put down the crack pipe.

Dogwoman

LALALALA, I Can’t Hear You…

Hello.

In a push yet again to end the American occupation of Iraq, the Senate has drafted a timetable of withdrawal and attached it to a spending bill.

“In exchange for short-term funding, Democrats would require the president to begin withdrawing U.S. troops within 30 days of enactment. They set only a goal of pulling most combat forces out by December 15th, 2008.”

This seems reasonable as most of the citizens of this country want us to withdraw immediately. But what do White House staffers have to say? Well, let’s listen in as Diane Perino has her say:

“But this brought a renewed veto threat from the White House, where press secretary Dana Perino briefed reporters. “Once again they plan to send the president a bill that they know he will veto. This is for political posturing and to appease radical groups,” she said.”

Political posturing and appeasing the radical groups. I like that. It sort of takes your breath away when you consider how hard she had to work to come up with that. Because America is in fact a hotbed of radical groups. Groups like: Everyone but the Republicans. Well, even some of them are starting to turn against their own party. Except the ones who are being outed on a daily basis. Those ‘Pubs have to say whatever they are told in order to keep their jobs.

The GOP has raped our country into a quivering mass of uselessness. They took a tragedy and turned it into a tagline. They have pilloried anyone who disagrees and thrown in jail anyone who looks slantwise at the Administration. The have loosened regulatory services to the point where toys are not safe for our children to play with, our meat is not safe to eat, and gas is due to hit 4.00 a gallon by next summer. They have purposed endless tax cuts for the wealthy but forced states into poverty by slashing domestic services and foisting them off on private institutions like uh,churches. They have taken Education and reduced it to a test and hounded critical thinking into the dark corner of ignorance. They lie to their own citizens about everything from war to wiretapping.

But we who want our troops to come home and the war to end are the radicals. Us. In our own country. The country and citizens the GOP is supposed to be helping and protecting. Not raping and pillaging.

I have only one response for you Diane, baby: In the Immortal words of the Gingerbread Man,

“EAT ME.”

Dogwoman

Playing Table Tennis With Dick

Hello.

In a surprise serve, Kucinich attempted to have Cheney impeached yesterday.

That would have been a good day. An even better day would be to see Cheney and Bush standing before the ICC trying to explain themselves.

So the impeachment motion took on all of the excitement of a table tennis match when Republicans decided to change their votes to table the motion from yea to nay in order to force a vote. Then the Democrats, as always, followed along and switched their votes. A person could get whiplash watching such heated voting. Now, if anyone remembers their School House Rock, it goes to committee for debate.

Which, for most people, means it’s dead.

Or is it? Why should it be?

It’s a reasonable resolution . Forcing the people who have killed our civil liberties, gotten us into another Vietnam, released restrictions on oil companies and devalued our currency to the point where China is laughing, out of office sounds like the first good idea in a long time.

And they bang on about things that could have gotten done. Like what? Another vote on child health care that won’t get past Napoleon Bush and his Silly Putty Veto. I swear he must be wearing that little rubber stamp out. It probably begs for mercy whenever his hand comes near it.

The point is, they, both the Dems and the GOP, aren’t getting anything else done. Except to save a watershed in the Everglades. It’s nice to know that the two parties can come together on the important issues when a veto override is necessary.

Come On! Watershed? What about Iraq? What about Health Care? What about the fact that the Federal Post Office scammed millions of people out of millions of dollars in fees for passports? Oh, there are so many other things they could be doing, but let’s face it, they’re not. Instead they are playing games in the Senate. Games like Chicken and Red Rover and yes, Ping Pong.

So I say, e-mail the Judiciary Committee. Get out your Poison Word program and let the Committee know that, Yes they should impeach the Vice President. It won’t matter to Cheney, he doesn’t even know which branch of the government he belongs to. When it’s something of national importance he’s Executive and when someone wants a look at his documentation of shady things he is suddenly all about the Legislative.

If he wants to act like a governmental ping pong ball, let’s just stop playing the game. Impeachment would take Dick’s balls out of action, don’t you think?

Dogwoman

The Children’s Crusade

Hello.

I wasn’t going to post today. Nothing had really tripped my trigger and I was just going to let sleeping blogs lie.

Then the mail came.

Remember how I mentioned that my daughter’s Glamour keeps coming to the ‘House? We got another one today. It’s got Mariah Carey on the front wearing what can only be described as a liquid disco ball with hair by Farrah Faucet. I snorted and threw it upside down on the coffee table.

And saw the greatest advertising travesty I have ever seen. I am still speechless.

On the back cover is an advertisement for the world’s finest profiteering scheme. Yes, the Red Program . Only this time there is an 11 year old wearing one of those ridiculous sweatshop shirts. And so is her Curious George.

Ah! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!(repeat this for about five minutes to get the full effect)

If an adult wants to advertise for these money grabbing bastards that’s their business. But children? Babies?

No. No .No. No.No.

My eleven year old is only interested in dancing, band, and how to build new structures out of her bedroom furniture. And I have yet to meet a baby who is socially conscious. Mostly babies spend time trying to remove their socks. Now I am sure there are eleven year olds who care about the planet and others blah, blah, blah, so don’t send me e-mails.

At these ages clothing is still bought by the parents and if you are dressing your children in these kinds of clothing, you should have your head examined. It’s a Giant Lie. A Scam. A ‘business model’. It’s about the business of making money. Bono and Bobby can bang on from now until the end of time about how beneficial this program is, but it’s crap. And they know it. I know they know it because they never offer statistics, Why? Because they don’t have any, that’s why. It’s a giant money making machine for companies they are attached to in some way. Like Apple. Like The Gap. And dragging children into it is just shit.

Hey, while they’re at it maybe they could offer me a bigger penis or money if only I cash an international cashiers check for them.

What I really want to know is: what did Curious George ever do to the marketing analysts at The Gap that would make them want to hurt him in such a demeaning way?

To make a serious difference and not just show off, go to Kiva.org or Buy (less) Crap. You’ll find the links in my blogroll.

I need to go take a pill, I think my blood pressure just shot way, way, up.

Unbelievable.
Dogwoman

What’s Wrong With This Statement ?

Hello.

Regarding the torture conflict, I read this in the news:

“Mr Bush defended his administration’s methods and said interrogations were carried out by “highly-trained professionals”.

And I thought, “Well, that’s good. We wouldn’t want it carried out by untrained professionals.”

It’s nice to know that while we sleep the Bush Administration is keeping the world safe through the exacerbated use of the water-board. On suspects, not convicted criminals. And that those doing the torture have been to school. I know when I’m stuck in a concrete room tied to a chair I like to know that the person with the shiny metal instruments is a professional. That this is not just a part time job on the weekends. I like my torture to have a certain panache, don’t you?

What, do they have their degree in illegal torture methods hanging on the wall?

I am sickened by the fact that I live in a country where this sort of statement could be made by anyone, much less our PRESIDENT. And don’t give me what I’ve come to regard as “The Freedom Speech”. It’s all red, shite and blue smoke being blown up our backsides. Torture was prohibited by the Geneva convention for a reason. About six million of them, actually. And for the U.S. government to blithely decide they don’t feel like complying and rewording everything to make it look tame is garbage.

Where is the International Criminal Court on this one?

Dogwoman

Columbia, We Have Rip Off

Hello.

Well have I been absent or what? Geez. With so much going on I should be here everyday spilling my vitriol all over the net. Alas, those pesky students gave me the Bird Flu. I was flapping and squawking for days. The Horror, the Horror.

So Iran’s President Mohamoud Ahmamumblemumble at Columbia University. I don’t understand. They spy on their own citizens and tag everyone who has something naughty to say about Bush, but it’s okay for the head of a country once referred to as the Axis of Evil to talk to our impressionable young people? Mer?

I am all for free speech. Obviously. However this one just has me puzzled. Like when you try to read the clues to the New York Times Sunday Edition. You know it’s English, but it looks funny. I don’t think this is about free speech and if it is, it looks weird.

Why Colombia would issue such an invitation is beyond me. And they did it twice. The first time he turned them down. What does he have to say that Columbia deems so important? “Death to all Americans” which is what most of his speeches in his own country boil down to. I suspect they keep doing it to show Bush that they are on the edge of world politics. That they know whats going on. Or maybe just to piss him off. Who knows. I think it was a pretty silly thing to do. Allowing a man who engenders a continuous message of hate and repression to talk to students is well, let me put it this way: When was the last time Charles Manson was invited to speak at a university? Right.

Oh and did you know that Ireland has Ploughing Championships. Yeah me neither, but I think we should adopt that idea as soon as possible.

Dogwoman ( Flap, squawk)

Just Say No To Thugs

Hello.

Fred Thompson is running for President. No, that’s not the important part. We all knew he was going to run, in much the same way there was that one guy in high school everyone knew was Gay but who refused to come out of the closet.

No, the important part is that he has declared that he will oust Hilary Clinton out of the top spot.

Doubtful.

Because he is a twit.

Because he is a Pharma lobbyist.

Because the last time we let a professional actor into the White House he tried to create a missile defense system in space and escalated the Cold War.

Because he is a liar who preys on the need for people to believe that we are not going to hell in the proverbial hand basket.

Because he owns a red pickup and isn’t it time we hung up the baseball hats and tried to come to a rational conclusion about our country?

Because Thompson is a wealthy thug whose ideals live in the dark ages. He has chosen money over ethics every chance he’s gotten.

Because his voice gets on my last nerve. That’s right, the last one I have left. And this bumbling dickwad is jangling it at will.

And finally, because I firmly believe the John McCain could do a better job than Thompson running this country. And John McCain is an ass.

That’s all I have to say about that.

Dogwoman