Archive for the ‘Hot’ Category

When Good Germs Go Bad


A scientist contracted pneumonic plague after hanging out with a cat. Okay, a relatively big cat, but still.

The doctors thought he had a cold. Yeah, a relatively big cold.

Pneumonic plague is one of the most contagious forms of plague to catch. It’s not the most interesting as there are no buboes and one doesn’t turn black. A person becomes delirious and coughs blood. Lots of blood, as the plague actually turns a human into jelly from the inside out.

Sadly, this is not the first outbreak of the Black Death this year, there was another outbreak that killed over a hundred people in Africa. It was in the news briefly then disappeared so, I have no idea if they contained it or not.

In these modern medical times I can see how a doctor would have no clue what they were looking at. They have no reference point for the Black Death. There hasn’t been any use for the dead cart in a while. Yet, with medieval diseases making a comeback maybe it’s time we stopped working on stem cell research and began to look into the question of time travel.

With a time machine, one could go back, pluck a bloodletting barber from his shop, haul him into a medical facility in our time and get his expert opinion on what ails the patient. Of course, he’d have to be kept away from the shiny sharp instruments and be given a bath. There are always drawbacks but, in time, these could be overcome.

Yes, I think this is the way to go and should be proposed to Congress as soon as possible. It couldn’t be any more outrageous than some of their other ideas and is much less likely to be subject to Presidential veto. Or perhaps, we could bring Yesernia Pestis to justice, American style. Have the little germ tried before a secret criminal court and sent to Guantanamo. Waterboarding might not work, but I am sure the professionally trained torturers the President is so proud of could come up with something.

So there you are, contact your congresspeople as soon as possible about the Black Death before it becomes an epidemic. Let them know you want this pestilence brought to justice. Murdering microscopic bastard.


Ain’t That A Shame


I see Tammy Faye Baker, oops, Messner died.

Now maybe it will be safe to wear eyeliner again. She won’t need it. Where she’s headed mascara has a tendency to run.

Hypocritical cow.


It’s Like A Heat Wave


Hot, so very ,very hot. Pant, pant, pant. Water. My small, not very tidy kingdom, for a glass of water..pant, pant,. Oh god, dying, shriveling, curling, baking.

We in the North don’t do temperatures over 70, the way those in the South close their schools at the first sign of a rumor of snow somewhere near them at some point in time. It’s a regional thing.

I hate global warming. I like the global part, it’s the freaking warming I could do without.

Too close to passing out to post properly. Maybe tomorrow.