Archive for the ‘Modern Troglodyte’ Category

Caving In

Hello.

Yesterday I came to a life changing conclusion. I would really like to give up my ‘modern life’ and go live in a cave. Yes, I want to be a troglodyte. I picture long nights in my cave with a low campfire, maybe a dog to keep me company.  Perhaps a cave by the beach so I can faintly hear the sound of crashing waves but, really, it’s not that important where. Just a cave. Sand fleas, mysterious scuttlings, perhaps a reflected eye or, even better, two to scare me when I get bored. Ah yes, I really think Cave life is for me.

So I said “Self, where would one go to find a suitable cave to practice one’s hermit tendencies?” And Self replied “I’m sleeping, get a life would you.” Self is never a help at three a.m. Then it came to me. To rent a superior cave I need only let my fingers do the asking. People always say you can get anything on the Net. So I took my chances and typed in “rent a cave” and lo, This is where I think I would like to spend the rest of my life.

Sadly, it’s not a life long rental but a vacation spot. While roomy, I was thinking of something a bit smaller, cozier, if you will. So I typed in “rent a small cave”. The only one I could find was in Romania. I’m not sure I’m ready for such a long travel plan associated with cave dwelling. Yet, most wise and wizened hermit types usually live in mountain caves. So I typed in “rent a mountain cave”.  All I could find was a rather spiffy villa in Spain trying to pass itself off as a ‘cave house’. My idea of cave dwelling does not include a pool and DVD player.

I am not giving up. There’s only a few years left before this angry giantess has to turn in her chalk and glib answers. I’m thinking a nice cave in my mother’s homeland. An Irish cave. Surely, they must have them somewhere. The place is an Island and I know from extensive reading of books like Lord of the Flies and Robinson Carusoe that all Islands have caves. Ergo, I should be able to rent a cave there. However, I wonder how wise I would become living in an Irish cave? Maybe I should think a little broader, like Tibet or China. According to media reports and books like ‘The Inn of the Sixth Happiness’, they have caves and wise people.

Either way I am in the market for a cave of my own. So, if you, my readers, happened to hear of one where I can spend the rest of my life please feel free to pass that info along. Keep in mind, said cave should be able to get WiFi. Cave dweller I might be, but I am not a Neanderthal.

Dogwoman