Archive for the ‘Oh The Humanity’ Category

Update

Hello.

Over the next few weeks I will be weeding out the archives and changing the blog around a bit. I have gotten bored with the old stuff. Time to shake it up for all six of you who actually force yourselves to read this.

Just thought I’d warn ya…

Dogwoman

Jaysus, Shut It Already

Hello.

I have ten minutes to write this morning.

Bono is back in the news whining yet again about illegal downloads. If I was reading his dreck correctly, he thinks that the Music Industry should become like China and restrict music access. Yes Bono, we should. No one should be allowed to download your crap music without a permit certifying that they should be certified.

Has it occurred to anyone in the music industry that it might not be illegal downloads but poor quality of music that is killing their industry? Maybe if they produced musicians rather than faces with digital enhancement people might buy their product. I think they should blame themselves. Not everyone likes Rap or Rythm and Blues. Or people who steal bits of old music and mess with it a bit and call it ‘new’. It’s not new. It’s theft.

Bono complaining about music theft is foolish. Especially if one listens to Televisions’ Marquee Moon and then compares it to U2’s first album Boy. They are strangely similar. Explain that one Bono.

Nevermind, do us all a favor. Just shut it, please.

I did say please.

Dogwoman

Roadie

Hello.

Missed me didn’t ‘cha? And now you expect me to wax on about the New Year and all of my goals. Perhaps you are reading this expecting a list of some best or worst. Well, I’m cranky and you are not getting it.

How ’bout a book review instead.Of a book published 3-4 years ago.

I am a huge fan of dystopian literature. I read Brave New World at thirteen and loved it. I’ve worn out several copies over the years. The same goes for A Clockwork Orange , a book that has been strangely prophetic.  This being the case I tend to snatch up any books that promise me a twisted vision of how the world will be. Recently I read Cormac McCarthy’s The Road.

Wow.

Where have all the writers gone?   Honestly, the whole book reads like a bad episode of Survivorman. The characters spend every waking moment foraging and being cold. By the third chapter I had to wrap up in a blanket in sympathy. A gray blanket. Because McCarthy’s entire world is gray. Gray ash, gray water, gray land, gray people. It’s a newsprint world. And yes I understand tone so just put your little snarky comments back in your pocket.  The only light that appears for the main character is his son. Got it. It’s just overkill. 287 pages of gray is a bit much. And overdone in literature. Killing color is the first sign of a dystopian book. That’s how you know it’s really a book about ‘a brave new world’.  And I will skip over the zombie like humans who are eating others to survive. While it makes a queer kind of sense,  it also lends a little sub genre reality that isn’t really nessacery.  He also never tells us why the world went up in flames, as if it weren’t important. Readers are supposed to surmise an apocalypse of some kind but he never states even briefly what it is. Even Lord Of  The Flies gives us a vague ‘war’. Forgive me but if you  are going to torch the entire earth don’t you think a little detail like how it happened is important?

My real issue is the writing. Oy! The writing. How how did this book win a Pulitzer? How? Who is on the committee?

This book is really badly written. The second sentence of the first chapter could have been written by a bright third grader. It jars. And not in a ” look this is where I leave a symbol so you can guess what I am talking about” kind of way. No, it just jars. Other sentences throughout the book also caused me to say to myself “wait, what?” Forcing me to re-read entire swaths of pages to reset the images presented. I find this unpleasant when I am reading and usually avoid books that do it on purpose. I just don’t think McCarthy was doing it on purpose. It doesn’t flow well at all. The repetitious use of words and actions slow the reading down to a crawl. I have always understood repetition to be a literary device, three and out. More than that and you aren’t being artistic, you need a thesaurus. And the timing is poor. Of course this is an issue I have with a lot of contemporary American literature. We, as American writers , seem to have forgotten the basic flow of a story. It goes like this:  beginning, middle, end. Not beginnnnnnninnng, mid,e. Or my other favorite, beginnnnnnnning,m,ennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd. It’s not artistic to screw with a readers expectations in such a way as to make your book difficult to read, even if the story is intriguing. It’s  damn irritating.

So yeah, could have been better. A lot better. The basic story is good, there are  just too many distractions in the writing to make it something I would slog through more than once.

Happy Dystopian New Year to you and your flesh-eating zombies.

Dogwoman

Can You Nanowrimo?

Hello.

So it’s that time of year again. In two and a half weeks the noveling monkey will be jumping on the backs of fools everywhere. Are you up for the challenge?

Let me say that in all the time I have been doing this I HAVE NEVER WON. Not even once. Last year I came close but then “Life”, that little bastard, got in the way and I dropped out at 30,000 words. Sigh.

Always the glutton for punishment, I am back in the ring this year. I have no story, no plot, no characters, nothing. I like an impossibility, don’t you?

So if you don’t have plans for November, why not jump into the pool of crazies and try to write 50,000 words in thirty days. You just might surprise yourself.

I always do.

Dogwoman

PS. Will be listing embarrassing word count in the sidebar. Come to mock.

Get Your Pirate On

Hello.

Afore I forget, as I do, it’s Talk Like A Pirate Day once again. Feel free to confuse others with your pirate speak and squinty eye.

Dogwoman

Beef For Sale

Hello.

If you are such a complete puss that you can’t tell someone off without help then these ladies might be for you.

Of course, keep in mind that libel and slander are still illegal.

I do love how Americans just keep sliding on down the intelligence scale. If we, as a nation, took the Stanford-Binet, I don’t think we’d rate above 100.

Stupid.

Dogwoman

Presidential Aside

Hello.

Thank you President Obama for saying what everyone in the world was thinking.

Kanye West did indeed act like a jackass.

Dogwoman