Archive for the ‘Seriously’ Category

Gimme Back My Bottle

Hello.

Got a cold? A terrific headache? A random old person muscle pain?

Well, screw you! SUFFER!

The FDA wants to make medications that contain acetaminophen by prescription only.

Because Americans can’t read labels. Because we need the FDA to tell us what to do and how to live. Because rational decisions should never be left to the great unwashed.

So if I have the flu and I want to grab something to relieve my symptoms, because 1600 people annually refuse to believe the dosage limits, I have to pay to see a doctor, and inflated prices to get it from a pharmacy?

It as great big scheme. A definite money maker to be sure. Everyone gets a twinge or a headache. I don’t know too many people in my line of work who don’t carry pain relievers on their person. Usually giant bags of it . That doesn’t mean we’re tossing them back with abandon or snarfing them down every fifteen minutes. The reason people overdose is because they are impatient or have not taken the meds with enough water to make them break down and begin to work. Those are the Morons who should  have every one of their decisions monitored. The rest of us can read. And think. And function quite well without 24 hour supervision by a government agency known for corruption and kickbacks, thank you.

Stop trying to regulate us to death. We don’t need a bloated group of greedy bastards to determine the collective level of common sense. Americans are smarter than we are given credit for. Well, mostly. Our politicians are making it hard to back up that statement but the rest of us are just fine. Mostly.

Hey here’s an idea, why don’t we start actually regulating the regulators?  The FDA pretty much does as they please in the interest of ‘public health’. As long as it will inflate their bank account.

If they’re so good at their  job why is there a never-ending supply of E. Coli in our food?  They are the FOOD and Drug Administration aren’t they? Start there zipperheads and then worry about Grandpa choking down a Tylenol for his back pain.

Dogwoman

Palin’s Power Of Protest Pales

Hello.

So many things changed in the five months I was gone. Neil Gaiman got himself a girlfriend, Dick Cheney finally decided to open his mouth, and has there been even more celebrity up-skirting or am I just seeing things?

Oh and why is Sarah Palin still talking? I thought the Republican Party made themselves clear at the end of the election. She’s become a sort of diva politician. Irritating. Even her exceptions to Dave Letterman’s remarks are uncouth and confusing. She cannot make her self understood. Palin should take a  road trip with Tom Petty and Bob Dylan, she’s so succinct. I read her comments and I can’t decide if she’s upset about the cheap shot taken at her daughter or just milking the whole thing for more media time.  If it were anyone with an ounce of grace ,they would protest clearly and concisely and then drop it in order to keep their child’s name from circulating through the press. But Palin actually seems to enjoy parading her daughter through the media as some sort of Saint of the Unwed Teenage Mothers.  Looking at the skyrocketing statistics from the past ten years, this is  not something that should be encouraged. Most teen mothers are poor and lose choices for a better life. They are not the spoiled self -involved child of a politician who talks like a Dr. Suess character.

Maybe it’s just that Palin can’t  keep a clear thought in her head. Maybe her  Hubble telescope glasses are interfering with her neruons. Perhaps if she opted for a smaller style when she spoke the rest of us Earthlings could understand her tirades . Until that happens, maybe she should just shhh.

 

Dogwoman

Rock and Roll Hall Of Shame

Hello.

If you had to choose between a group of musicians the thinking world considers brilliant and a band known mostly for their fabulous hair, which would you choose?

Well, you’re wrong. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is getting set to announce their inductees and would you believe BON JOVI is the critics pick? I don’t know whether to weep or send angry invective laden e-mails. I thought they could sink no lower when Madonna made the list but, holy roaming cows.

And Bon Jovi is getting the nod over a band like Rush. Rush. One of the most eclectic and inventive bands in history. One of the first bands to begin using technology in their music. That’s right it wasn’t U(f’n)2. It was pioneers like Rush and Yes that started that craze.

On this list of  possible inductees are bands like the Smiths and the Cure who were never considered rock bands. Also Donna Summer and Chic two groups that are strictly Disco. Run DMC and the Beastie Boys are  on the list as well.

And what a dismal list. Is this really the best they can do? Have we run out of great musicians to induct and are now scraping the bottom of the musical barrel?

Did I mention that Metallica is on the list? They have been around forever, are still making great music and their albums always go to the top of the charts as soon as they are released. Even those who don’t generally listen to Heavy Metal can hum Enter Sandman. And they are being ignored for Bon Jovi? A group that is barely one step ahead of Milli Vanilli. Why don’t they just induct Ratt and Vanilla Ice and end the whole pretense?

If you’d like to put in your two cents worth, go here to vote for the band of your choice.

And it better not be Bon Freakin’ Jovi. Seriously. I have your IP and I can find you.

Dogwoman

Just Say No To Drugging Children

Hello.

Is your child a daydreamer? Do they spend time living in a world of their own creation? Do you find it really annoying when they tell you long winded stories about things that are outrageous? Are you concerned that this might be a sign of mental illness because they are not thinking clearly, like an adult?

Have I got a website/cure for you!

Apparently, if you give them an herbal essence you can cure this terrible affliction. In fact, according to this website, you can cure everything that’s wrong with children today with a few drops of flower essences.

I originally found this in a health food store and spent a good five minutes laughing and the rest of the night being puzzled. Clematis is not a flower I would recommend anyone ingest.  People have an over-confidence problem when it comes to anything labeled “herbal”.  It’s hard to keep in mind that all those nifty medical prescriptions come from plants and flowers, the only difference is the active ingredient has been supercharged or isolated depending on the drug. For a long time Comfrey was on the shelves as a tea, despite the fact that anyone with even a little knowledge would say one should never take Comfrey internally. Eventually the government got wise and ordered that all Comfrey teas be pulled from the shelves.

Herbal medications, like general prescription drugs, ‘cure’ nothing. They alleviate symptoms. And there are a whole bunch of provisos that if one is not aware of can actually make one very ill. For example, if you take warfarin or coumadin you should never drink chamomile tea. Chamomile contains cumarins and if you are on a blood thinner you could bleed internally.

All that aside, if you are giving your child herbal medications to fix shyness or tantrums, there is something wrong with you. Some children are shy, some are bratty,  it’s called having a personality. As for a daydreamer, well some children are more creative than others. It’s not an affliction that needs medication. If they refuse to have any social contact or scream when you touch them get them tested for autism, otherwise leave them alone.

I for one am a champion daydreamer. I love to slip off mentally and take a vacation once in while. Then I write about it. My son also spends time in a world of his own. Then he writes music. There is nothing wrong with nipping out just to enjoy your own mind every so often. It’s called being creative. Without it science would never catch up to fiction.

So parents, relax, and know that having a creative intelligent child is not something you need to have them medicated for. They’ll either outgrow it or write a new symphony.

Hopefully, we will soon find a plant that will cure overactive stupidity in parents, until that day comes……

Dogwoman

All I Want Is EU

Hello.

Bono wants Africa to create a United States of Africa.

Yeah, and I want Baskin Robbins to start a home delivery service.

The problem that the little man has vastly overlooked, as has his alter ego Jeffery Sachs, is the separatist and tribal nature of many African nations. There are literally hundred of tribes within the African framework and they do not all get along. I don’t mean this in a Protestant v. Catholic way either. I mean that they will never get along. Ever. This division existed long before Ireland tossed out it’s Druids and gained a snake charmer.

Also, has either of these social geniuses looked at a map?  I am referring specifically to North Africa. I don’t mean to be a killjoy here but have they noticed the many stable, productive, countries at the top of the African Continent? Something tells me that Egypt and Morocco are not going to loosen ties to other Muslim countries in order to embrace a chaotic warlord run Sub Saharan Africa. They can’t, their ideologies are so different nothing would ever be accomplished.

And I don’t think pointing to the EU is a good example builder in light of Ireland overwhelmingly killing the Lisbon treaty.

In fact, pointing to Ireland at all is probably not a good idea right now. Their entire economy was overhauled to mimic a supply side economic reality. Housing went from affordable to outrageous in a few years and the deep social divisions between the poor and wealthy became over- exacerbated. Now with the credit crisis striking everyone who ever had dealings with the United States, Ireland’s economy is in a tailspin. Companies are pulling out and jobs are being lost. The housing boom is declining. What has been an economic success for many years is turning into a struggling morass of nothing actually being accomplished.

Is this what Bono the Great wants for Africa? A warring conglomerate of mis- matched countries whose separate and individual natures keep them in a constant state of flux rather than as a cohesive ruling body?

And if they do manage somehow to become a full fledged United anything  who is going to keep the rampant cocaine use and boy racers at bay? Not to mention the self righteous, self indulgent celebrities.

Dogwoman

When Bad Agencies Go Worse

Hello.

Assholes, Douche Bags and Jerks. Oh my!

Somehow, I don’t think the “Rut Row Raggy” defense is going to work this time.

Feel free to send them outraged e-mails with lots of swearing.

Dogwoman

Don’t Come Around Here No More

Hello.

John Edwards made a speech last night. It went something like this:

“There is one man who knows and understands that this is a time for bold leadership. There is one man that knows how to create the change, the lasting change, that you have to build from the ground up,” Edwards said. “There is one man who knows in his heart there is time to create one America, not two…”  And that man is–

Alan Greenspan??

Warren Buffett??

William Easterly??

Noooo, Barak Obama.

Edwards, after waiting months to see how the race would turn out, has thrown all of his political weight, all 20 ounces, behind Obama. And he did it right here in the Mich.

Are you (radio edit) kidding me? I smell ploy. Big, billowing clouds of political ploy wafting all over the west side of this state. Seriously, one whole side of our mitten is now covered in snake oil. Someone call the Nature Conservancy I think we have a disaster site that needs cleaning.

These two couldn’t be arsed when it came to the problems with our primary. They blithely stuck with Howard Dean and his mindless drones at the DNC in their quest to disenfranchise Michigan voters. They punished every voter in this state because our primary date was moved. Obama has gone so far as to suggest he get half of the delegates. Even though he refused to put his name on our ballot. Now they’re grandstanding in Grand Rapids?

Ya know who else visited Grand Rapids? George W Bush. Dick Cheney. John McCain. Bono. Ya know why they go to Grand Rapids? Because, Lansing, Detroit and Ann Arbor won’t allow them past the city limits. They have standards. While Grand Rapids is the Babylonian whore of Michigan cities.

The new financial center of our state is located in Grand Rapids. If one wishes to cull the political newbies who control or have large amounts of cash, Grand Rapids is the place to do it. Not to mention, it being the home of one of our most benign and lovably forgettable Presidents, it tends to make a statement. Which statement I’m not sure. Maybe something like “I’m a political hack who wants you to equate me with President Ford.” or maybe “See, I’m a harmless conservative” or “Give me all your money.”

My position is this: When I see Obama in a pair of old jeans, hosting a rally in Flint, shaking hands with Michael Moore and holding a steaming hot pasty, then I might lighten up.

But watching these two slick snakes spend a night patting one another on the back in OUR state is just tasteless and petty.

Tom Petty.

Because as I watched events unfold this is what went through my head:

Don’t come around here no more

Whatever you’re looking for

Give it up

Hey!

Give it up

And now I can’t get that damn song out of my head.

One more thing to hate them for.

Dogwoman