27 Jan
Hello.
I am currently experiencing severe problems with my internet connection. It comes and goes, like Alberto Gonzales’ memory. I am unable to keep blogging on a regular basis until the problem is fixed. I think it may involve 1-800-Henchmen. However, if you are still checking the pages, keep doing so. Once I hogtie get a hold of the greedy bastards help desk of my current server I hope to be able to continue writing, until then…..
Dogwoman
15 Jan
Hello.
If you live in Michigan and you are reading this blog, STOP. Put down your computer and go vote. Polls are open until 8pm. Take advantage of your personal power and cast your vote. No, really do it. Now.
If you are not from Michigan , sorry, I can’t post today, I have to consult my charts, graphs, Fox News and my groundhog before I vote. Much too busy.
Dogwoman
NOTE: For those of you wishing to vote for a candidate not on the ballot, DO NOT write their name in. Your vote will be thrown out. Rather, vote uncommitted. If there are enough uncommitted votes there will be a re-vote . And for the love all that sings and dances, don’t vote for Mitt ‘I’ a lunatic but my dad was cool’ Romney.
14 Jan
Hello.
A news report has outed several hip hop artists as users of steroids and growth hormones. Mary J. Blige, Wyclef Jean, 50 Cent….
Uh. Apparently they are using them for the anti aging properties. Too bad they are not working. This kind of lunacy I do not understand. Growth hormones are unregulated. The drugs are supposed to be for people suffering from rare disorders related to the pituitary gland. Not for the vanity of overpaid self indulgent performers. However, if a male performer wants to sing soprano and a female wants a little more alto, hey, what can you do.
Of course with growth hormones, nifty diseases like diabetes can suddenly develop along with exacerbation of any existing conditions such as cancer. So really, its a population control device.
You know, I can’t even think of a suitable stinging angry giantess analogy here that would poke fun at these people. It’s just sad. How childish and fearful of a perfectly natural cycle do you have to be to allow some quack to swan into to you ostentatious abode and inject you with an unregulated substance just to look younger than you are ?
And regardless of how the press is presenting it I don’t think it’s just the Hip Hop/R&B artists. I’m willing to bet it’s anyone in the entertainment business with too much money and a few years under their belt.
So for Ironic Monday here’s your thought:
Are these are the same people who won’t eat American beef because of the growth hormones being given to livestock? They’d rather pay some high priced drug dealer to inject it directly than wait to get it in their porterhouse.
Honestly.
Dogwoman
11 Jan
Hello.
I just came across a post at the Daily Kos stating that Michigan voters should vote for Mitt Romney because it would screw the Republicans. And since our votes don’t count anyway, what’s the harm?
The harm is:
1.Why would would we want to duplicate Republican tactics that say “win at any cost” ? Emulating shysters makes one into the very thing one is fighting against.
2. I hate Mitt Romney. If we really wanted to screw with Republicans we should vote for Giuliani.
3. I have to live with myself after the election, you know. And one can only take so many showers in a day.
4. There isn’t a Republican candidate that stands a holy hell’s breath of chance at winning the Presidential election. Honestly, President Rommney? Huckabee? McCain might give a a good run but he’s crazy and a liar, so no. And even the Republicans know it.
So thanks Kos, but no thanks. And stop encouraging your readers to participate in this nonsense. It’s a smokescreen. The Kos backs Obama, who is not on the ballot in Michigan. They wouldn’t want Hilary to win Michigan by much of a margin. Between the inevitable write ins and other factors it’s possible to crush and dismiss a Clinton win in Michigan. What better way to avoid that little faux pas than to ask us to vote for a Republican candidate?
I’m not buying what you are selling.
Dogwoman
11 Jan
Hello.
Due to an increasing amount of Spam links, which I am finding difficult to remove, I have had to turn on the Comment registration feature. I am sorry about the change, I never liked this feature. However, I don’t like my blog being hit with a shit storm of links to casino pages either. I am hoping that the change is temporary. Once the spammers have decided I am no longer worth bothering about I’ll turn the feature off again. Please don’t let it stop any of you from leaving comments, it’s just a preventive measure.
Dogwoman
10 Jan
Hello.
WARNING: Post contains strong language.
To all of those news outlets that called Hilary dead in the water and tried to make a little public exhaustion into a campaign killer, HAHA. This includes you, Daily Kos.
It’s not that I am backing the Hil, it’s just that I like watching Obama taking a beating. And Edwards being made to eat his words is nice too. Here’s why.
I’m from Michigan.
Obama and Edwards decided to tow the party line and took their names off the Michigan ballot in response to the DNC stripping Michigan of it’s delegates. Their actions say that they have no interest in Michigan or Michigan voters. How can you be an agent of change if you are willing to help silence people who don’t behave the way you want them to? Haven’t we had enough of that?
Over and over the O and the E have called Hilary ‘the status quo”. I think that in fact, they represent the status quo. They are blindly following the DNC and are willing to try to punish voters who had no say in the decision to move the Michigan primary. In much the same way the Bush administration tried to vilify anyone who didn’t agree that Iraq is the greatest American achievement since Vietnam. In order to promote true change you have to be willing to go against the grain when it truly matters.
By taking their names off the Michigan ballot Obama and Edwards are trying to secure their place at the head of a table they think is so large that one or two states don’t matter. But they do. By thinking short term and resolutely sticking to arbitrary rules they have lost any confidence voters in Michigan may have had in them.. Michigan voters are a proud, unruly lot that don’t take to kindly to being treated like a second thought. If Obama is on the Presidential ballot, I believe allegiance will switch and this state will turn redder than my face that time my Mother took me to that ice cream parlour for my fourteenth birthday and made me talk to a plastic cow while everyone in the restaurant watched and laughed. (wince).
The point is, Obama doesn’t get my vote and if he winds up being the Democratic nominee, it will be the first time since I turned eighteen that I haven’t voted in a Presidential election. I refuse to use my limited power to elect someone who is willing to engage in any form of censorship and who clearly has so little regard for the voting public.
I won’t vote to elect yet another Straw President. I can’t, it’s just not in me.
Dogwoman
9 Jan
Hello.
Here’s a version of The Post That WordPress Ate. I hope it found my words magically delicious.
In a startling turn of events something so momentous has occurred that I must, in the interests of all who follow such things closely, note it here. Joining the ranks of high profile journalists everywhere, Naomi Campbell is taking her turn at GQ. Her very first interview is with none other than that denizen of public works and self proclaimed martyr, Chavez. Always asking the hard hitting questions, she came at him with all manicured claws bared by asking the important questions: Does he ever go topless and who does he think is the best dressed dictator ?
It’s good to know that she’s not just phoning it in. That her experience as a day laborer has helped her hone her perceptions to a knife’s edge. Naomi is taking it to the streets and aren’t we glad we didn’t miss out.
Certainly this is more important than say, the media hordes attacking Hilary Clinton like a group of bloodied hens. A spurious pecking party predicting the demise of the only female candidate is much less important than whether or not Chavez thinks Bush is nuts. He is, but that’s not the point. The point is, Ms. Campbell got Chavez to say it in a national magazine. Whoa Nelly. Isn’t she a spitfire? Of course, Chavez has been calling Bush a lot of things for the past few years, some of them unprintable.
So everyone rush out and buy a GQ. One wouldn’t want to miss out on the most important topic around the water cooler. And nothing gets our attention faster than a rambling interview between an emotionally truncated brat and a schizophrenic with unlimited power. Good times, those.
A bit of advice for future interviewees of Ms. Naomi: Practice ducking just in case you say something she doesn’t like.
Dogwoman
8 Jan
Hello.
This mornings post was just eaten by WordPress. I hope this blogging tool gets heartburn.
Oh the humanity!
Will rewrite and repost later today.
Dogwoman
7 Jan
Hello.
Vacation over and here at the ‘House it’s time to resume the blogging for Irony and Satire. If one consults the Chinese calender, one will see it is the Year of the Lampoon. A very precipitous year for poking fun at those who take themselves too seriously. Today, as we ease into this new era, I thought we’d just take a gander at those who are making it simple for me.
Speaking of which, perhaps an enterprising reader could explain:
Why the U.S Supreme court feels the need to make a ruling on whether or not lethal injection is considered cruel and unusual when our government thinks torture is ok?
How Dr. Phil is going to help Brittany Spears by dragging her onto his show and making her cry? If we’re really lucky maybe Charlatan Man will cause her to hole up in his green room shrieking and refusing to come out. This is the marriage of Irony and Satire.
How the President who did little or nothing to ally the security concerns of Bhutto, can now claim it’s her own fault she was gunned down, thereby causing massive riots and further loss of life.
Why the Queen of England enjoys a little Wii time? Not ironic, but definitely edges her closer to the Coolest Chick With The Most Power award. Which IS ironic in that an 81 year old woman literally has more game than Oprah or Hilary.
I am sure as the days wear on there will be more examples of this nature. Really, I just have to sit back and let these people do my work for me.
Dogwoman
The Doghouse 