No More Jobs?

Hello.

Of all things the news spews I think the most underrated are the stories about Steve Jobs health.

Though I consider him just one step away from being the Anti-Christ, he is still human. However, he is a human who has lied through his teeth to shareholders. First it was ” No, no, I’m fine.”  Then it was “Oh well. I am on a special diet.”  Then, of course, “Oh I might have had a touch of the Cancer but I’m good now.”

Now he’s had his liver transplant which is probably an extension of the pancreatic cancer he never told anyone about.

Well bully for you, Stevie.

Why shareholders aren’t more ticked is beyond me. The entire company rests on the charisma of the grand poohbah of technology and he hasn’t the cajones to just tell the frickin’ truth. Sure he’ll mass market a ‘business plan’  that smacks of profiteering but he won’t tell the truth to the people who probably should know he’s going to drop any minute.

And he could. Pancreatic cancer is  one of  the most devastating and aggressive cancers. I watched a friend go from diagnosis to death in three weeks. It doesn’t just go “Oh you’re Steve Jobs? Sorry man, I’ll go now” It’s a hanger arounder. A, slip into your other organs and have a party, kind of cancer. It likes to travel. A lot. So give it a few months I’m sure we’ll hear about a new ‘special diet’ Jobs is on. Right before they take him in for another transplant.

 

Dogwoman

I Do Not Think That Word Means What You Think It Means

Hello.

Dear John McCain,

I don’t want to tell you how to do your job, but you must stop using the ‘s’ word when referring to Barak Obama. The only people it’s having any impact with are those from your own party. Everyone else is laughing at you.

Are you aware that the most popular book right now was written by a man named Karl Marx? Seriously, that dry unyielding tome is flying off the shelves.

Also, being a self confessed man of the world, vastly experienced in foreign policy, you should be aware that France and Italy are both socialist countries. Italy is a mecca for social acceptance and France, aside from hating Americans on principle, has quite  a bit to recommend it.

I think you are using the word “Socialist” to mean another word that Americans fear. Communist. And the Red Scare died a few years back. So, are you attempting to call Obama a Communist without actually using the word? That’s just stupid and desperate.

In the current state of populist politics it might be best if you found another way to discredit your opponent. All you are accomplishing with your bogus ‘socialist ‘ rhetoric is jacking up Obama’s poll rankings. Which is probably not the outcome you were looking for.

I’ve got other words you might want to avoid but who has time to teach semantics to a man who hired a white trash Governor to be his running mate?

Dogwoman

CelebriBible

hello.

One might think that such things as a world wide, excruciatingly slow, collapse of financial markets, abnormally violent weather and Sarah Palin appearing on Saturday Night Live might be a sign that the end is near, but, no.

The true sign of the times is a book. A giant glossy book with pictures of Bono, Angelina Jolie and Nelson Mandela. No, it’s not a book of past Vanity Fair articles. It’s the Bible.

That’s right, some enterprising Swede has come up with a Bible that catches the eye. For all of those who think there are just too many words and not enough shallow glitz in their scripture, this Books’ for you.

Now, honestly. Isn’t this a bit like the Devil printing his own version? I can see how it might bring comfort to those who wander about their McMansions feeling lost. How inspiring to look down and see a bible that has pictures of your friends splashed throughout it. Ahh, warms the cockles of a shriveled greedy heart, so it does.

But then there is the rest of us, you nutters. Also, it could just be me but isn’t putting pictures of wealthy capitalists in the bible a bit sacrilegious? I was taught that greed of any kind was against the teachings. I took that to mean greed not only for money but also attention, among other things. Is the world not plastic enough? Does there really need to be a celebribible?

And what’s with the implied eyebrow piercing? What is that supposed to symbolize exactly?

The author grandly points out that all of the books are layed out like magazine articles.

Great, what’s next an interactive Bible with Fox News headlines scrolling across the bottom?

Some people have waaayyyyyy too much time on their hands. And should probably put down the crack pipe.

Dogwoman

The King (or Queen) of Smears

Hello.

I know you’ve been waiting with bated ( not”baited” CNN reporter person, as in “abated” or withheld. When are they going to offer me your job because even with my crap spelling I can get most of the grammar right. Maybe you should be working for Fox News) breath for this announcement.

I know who I’m going to vote for. I decided last night while watching the political ads on T.V. I will vote for every candidate, regardless of party affiliation, who effectively and completely smears or degrades their opponent.

This is my reasoning.

First, if one is willing to expose every dirty little secret of an opponent in order to win a job in which one will undoubtedly be hated by a majority of the people in a state or throughout the country, you have the kind of balls we need right now.

Secondly, if one is the kind of person who can take innocent friendships and turn them into sinister affiliations that stop just short of canoodling with the Devil himself, well that takes a great deal of creativity, which we also need. Any President can clandestinely re-write the Constitution. It takes real commitment to creatively change someone’s background right out where people can see it.

Lastly, if  one is willing to lay all the blame on the shoulders of another person and repeatedly call them a liar until people believe it without question, then one has the kind of superficial charm we the people have been searching for. And if one can do it with out mixing metaphors or making verbal gaffes that cause the world wide web to post them to YouTube on the comedy channel, you are our man or woman.

So there you are: Balls, creativity and just enough charm to make it all go down easier. These are the characteristics our government has been lacking for eight years. And I am willing to help make sure they again rise to the top of the dung heap we call American Government.

Join me won’t you, in ensuring that every smarmy, soulless bastard with a seven figure income and no idea how public transportation works leads our Country back to the glory days.

Amen.

Dogwoman

The Bleat Goes On

Hello.

Unlike so many who have the power and don’t use it, I really did send an e-mail to my Senator yesterday. An angryish email about the proposed vote for a bailout package.

And this was the reply:

… I share your anger and frustration about this situation. Although I think we need to act to fix our American economy, I do not feel this bill is the right way to do it, and I voted against this package when it came before me in the Senate.

What is most outrageous to me is that this is not an accident. We are in this crisis because of a failed philosophy and a failed set of priorities that have rewarded greed. We have seen policies of massive deregulation and willful neglect of what is going on in these markets.

We know there is a crisis on Wall Street, but there’s a much bigger crisis in Michigan and across America. Hard-working families, who play by the rules, are the ones in crisis every single day, and this bill does little for them. People are losing their health care, their pensions, their jobs, and their homes.

This legislation is fundamentally the wrong approach to fixing our economy. We need to start from the root of the problem and help families stay in their homes and keep their jobs.

Just last week, the Senate was unable to get bipartisan support for a jobs bill that would have helped families in Michigan who are suffering the worst in this economy. Our bill would have created desperately needed jobs in Michigan. That bill represented the right priorities!

Although I’m glad the final bill included some alternative energy tax provisions that I have championed in the Senate, the underlying legislation did not do enough to address the real problems of jobs, health care, energy independence, and home foreclosures.

In the coming months, I will continue fighting to stop the policies that got us to this crisis and hold the people accountable who failed to protect our country. Most importantly, I will continue to focus on creating new jobs in Michigan…

Sincerely,

Debbie Stabenow

United States Senator

So there you have it. Contrary to media scaremongering and disinformation, not every Senator agreed with the bill or wanted it passed. The bill they just passed to ‘help stabilize the economy’ included an extension of tax breaks for Oil companies. Because Republicans wouldn’t vote for it otherwise. So in the rush to ‘fix everything’ they created a situation that will extend the current problems. One Senator in touting the Bailout Bill actually intimated that Americans should forget about punishing those who created this mess in the first place. Accountability, my great fuzzy tush.

The biggest question to me is “Why are Americans allowing those who created this dire situation to postulate the solution?”

Seems a lot like allowing the horse to open and close the barn door whenever he feels like it.

All we can do at this point is hope that the populist backlash sends the Senators who voted for this bill to an early retirement during their next election.

Dogwoman

Bailout, Schmailout.

Hello.

I’ve managed to slip my chemical leash and I am back, ready to kick some politician butt. Rendition, my Aunt Fanny.

Just kidding. I’ve been stuck playing the never-ending literary quiz over at Goodreads.com. I just wanted to sound all spyish and less like a complete dork.

To the topic at hand: Bailout Bill.

Complete load of hooey. Expensive hooey at that.

Why would We the People want to reward greedy men and women for ignoring the warnings that have been going on for over a decade? We were told repeatedly in the early nineties that if the credit industry was not reined in this would happen. Guess what? They were right! Surprise! And since the explosion of monetary gain has been by the top three percent, why would the other 97% of us want to work harder to pay off their debt ? We don’t, so suck it Congress. We are already working like dogs just to maintain the little we have. Under no circumstances should we allow the richest people in the country to pass their debt to us. The ‘lower’ classes do not exist as a slave class to take on the burden of the greed of the upper classes.

Also, as long as I am ranting mindlessly, let me say something that has been making my fur stand on end. Why are they blaming low-income homeowners for this debacle?  There were programs instituted by Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac that allowed for sustainable home-ownership for lower income families. At the time of their inception these programs were used to revitalize neighborhoods and were taken on by working class families in an economic environment that allowed people to work and see a return on that work. As mass layoffs began and income to living wage ratios fell in the last eight years, those families began to struggle under the weight of a top heavy economy. They did not, as has been postulated, take on mortgages they could not afford. They took on mortgages they could afford until gas prices, due to excessive profits, risky investments, and speculation began to spiral out of control. This spiral has led to outrageous increases in pricing for everything throughout the country. And the mass foreclosures began.

The biggest drain on our economy has been the two wars we are concurrently waging. But it seems no one wants to mention that. They’d rather point to those who can least defend themselves and blame them.

Well, I blame those who,even after the lessons learned in the Savings and Loan disaster, began creating private equity firms and hedge funds. Those two things helped spur the original financial meltdown in the 80’s. Because of  a government bail out then, the greedy bastards ignored warnings and started up all over again. Those same people should be forced to declare bankruptcy.

They should be required to be punished for their actions. Not rewarded for the pandemic of greed that has sent our country into a tailspin.

If you’d like to urge your Senator to vote no on the Bailout Bill, go here to find out who they are and send them an e-mail. If they get enough mail it might crash their system.

I’ll bet they’d get the point then.

Dogwoman

Rock and Roll Hall Of Shame

Hello.

If you had to choose between a group of musicians the thinking world considers brilliant and a band known mostly for their fabulous hair, which would you choose?

Well, you’re wrong. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is getting set to announce their inductees and would you believe BON JOVI is the critics pick? I don’t know whether to weep or send angry invective laden e-mails. I thought they could sink no lower when Madonna made the list but, holy roaming cows.

And Bon Jovi is getting the nod over a band like Rush. Rush. One of the most eclectic and inventive bands in history. One of the first bands to begin using technology in their music. That’s right it wasn’t U(f’n)2. It was pioneers like Rush and Yes that started that craze.

On this list of  possible inductees are bands like the Smiths and the Cure who were never considered rock bands. Also Donna Summer and Chic two groups that are strictly Disco. Run DMC and the Beastie Boys are  on the list as well.

And what a dismal list. Is this really the best they can do? Have we run out of great musicians to induct and are now scraping the bottom of the musical barrel?

Did I mention that Metallica is on the list? They have been around forever, are still making great music and their albums always go to the top of the charts as soon as they are released. Even those who don’t generally listen to Heavy Metal can hum Enter Sandman. And they are being ignored for Bon Jovi? A group that is barely one step ahead of Milli Vanilli. Why don’t they just induct Ratt and Vanilla Ice and end the whole pretense?

If you’d like to put in your two cents worth, go here to vote for the band of your choice.

And it better not be Bon Freakin’ Jovi. Seriously. I have your IP and I can find you.

Dogwoman

Everybody Panic!!!!!!!!

Hello.

I awoke so early this morning that even the birds were still asleep. When I tried to wake them, they gave me the middle feather. Cheeky bustards.

After reading the news, I turned to my abnormally cheerful husband and wailed “But, I was only gone for five hours!”

Here’s what I found :

The banking sector of the United States is in Chicken Little mode with every newspaper screaming that the sky is falling. As it may well be. When the smoke clears, will Bank of America be the only financial institution still standing? One pundit goes so far as to hint the “thousands” of banks will now fail in the coming months. Which is of course a signal for everyone to begin pulling their money out of the bank and hiding it in their mattresses. Failure to help people fully understand what the collapse of these financial giants means for the average Joe almost guarantees a run of worried customers, causing further panic and instability. If they can soft pedal of war of indeterminate length and destruction, why can’t they lie about the money problems of the entire country?

Also, because I have to live here, this really pisses me off and makes me hate the GOP more, which I didn’t think possible, but there it is. The Michigan GOP is trying to use the nifty Right-To-Vote laws here in Michigan to keep those who have been foreclosed upon from voting. Last time I checked the only groups of people not eligible to vote in the U.S. are illegal immigrants and currently incarcerated felons. Is the Michigan GOP trying to say that those who lost their homes to the shady dealings of the mortgage companies are actually criminals???? That’s one way to misdirect to mislead. Which seems to be the GOP’s SOP.

This one is more of an observational question. If oil is now selling for under a hundred dollars a barrel, why am I paying almost 4.50 a gallon this morning? If you say Ike I will issue a horrible Ancient Roman Curse upon you and your family. And your dog. While the closing of the refineries was probably a factor it does not explain to my personal satisfaction a jump of nearly 70 cents in two days. Especially with the price of oil continually falling. At one point on Friday a gas station here in Michigan was selling at 5.99 a gallon. Clearly, they were gouging. Yet, are the oil companies now gouging on the speculation of the maybe of things to come? So it would seem. Starting a mass panic can be profitable.

There was also a story about a house burning to the ground in North Texas because some geniuses disconnected the fire hydrants. Why, you ask? Because they were afraid that terrorists would poison the water supply. *Headslap* Good God, I knew this country was going backwards but, all the way back to the Middle Ages?

If you haven’t yet started running about your abode wailing in terror, scrabbling for your bankbook and refusing to drink the tap water, well, there just might be hope for you yet.

Dogwoman

Meet The New Boss, Same As The Old Boss

Hello.

I’ve been avoiding political themes, I know. The reason is simple. I’m tired of both of the candidates. Particularly Barack Obama.

I can’t get through the news when every other story is about something one of them may have said or done to the other. And all the while anything Cheney and Bush may be doing in the background is ignored.

Also, as a Michigan voter I can do nothing less than assume that Barak stole our delegates from Hilary. For perhaps the first time in history a candidate who was not on a state ballot had delegates voting in the National Convention. Regardless of what Howard Dean may be saying, it was Obama’s decision not to put his name on the ballot. The DNC should not have given him half of what he did not earn. And then to go ahead and seat the Delegates after promising they didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of doing so is nothing less than thievery.

I understand that the party needed to ‘show unity’  in order to stave off Republican attacks, but let’s face it, Hilary got hosed. For her to give such a fantastic speech during the convention when in fact she should have been berating Howard Dean shows a great deal of tact. And kudos to Bill as well.

Both of them went out and did what needed to be done despite the obvious failure of the DNC to run a fair campaign.

While I am pleased to see that for the first time in history we have nominated an African-American for the office of President.  I am disgruntled at the way in which it was achieved. It feels as though this race is being run by the Internet hacks and the beleaguered media rather than by the average voters. the average American is being told how to vote by a barrage of media and Internet ads and sites rather than being given a chance to weigh their options. It’s distasteful to me.

So if you find that my political coverage is light for the next few months it’s because I am revolted by both of the major party candidates. There is a great deal at stake in this race and to me neither candidate represents a ‘change’. As for unity , the pundits can go on as many talk shows as they like, the party is split and we all know it. They can gloss over Bidens’ abysmal record all they like, the only ones it fools are the younger voters.  When Democratic leaders are shaking their heads in sorrow one knows the wrong pick has been made.  When Hilary supporters are flooding the Internet with calls to back John McCain even as the Convention is preaching a watery ‘unity” theme there is a problem.

And it’s a problem that won’t disappear just because the DNC wants it to. It needs to be addressed. But, we all know it won’t.

Dogwoman

And The V.P Is….

Hello.

Joseph Biden? Really.

Ya know I only get sixty minutes per post. To go on about Obama’s running mate would take at least three post times.

I’m wondering who thought Joe ” I make more verbal mistakes than G.W. has in a lifetime” Biden was a good idea? I guess it’s hard to remember that most of America is old and not afflicted with Alzheimer’s. Already the plagiarism jokes and snickering have started and it’s only been a few hours. And this from the Democrats. *Sigh*

Good luck with that, O-man. You’re not getting any points for good decision making these days are you?

Dogwoman